Monday, June 08, 2009


My mother's side of the family is full of strong women, starting at the top my grandmother, the matriarch. Grandma, mom, all my aunts, even my cousins are all strong females...sometimes to the point I feel sorry for any weak-willed man who falls in love with one of us, because he wouldn't stand a chance.

So the wedding I saw last weekend of my cousin to the mother of his child was really one of the most offensive things I've ever seen. The first clue was the bride's mother doing the reading...passages from JOHN, of all the apostles the most woman-hating, about obedience.

The pastor's homily was even more offensive than the time a pastor went off on his views of gay marriage during a wedding: this pastor emphasized for a good twenty minutes how it's the wife's job to keep looking THE WAY SHE DOES NOW, SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND, etc etc etc. And what does the man have to do? Be patient with her and love her and take care of her no matter what. REALLY?? Be patient? The whole ceremony set them up as master/subordinate, not equal husband and wife.

If the asshole pastor could've seen into the groom's side of the audience, I think he may have turned green and run for his life. All the women in his family were livid and horrified. I just really hope all that crap was said because it's her family's church and they wanted to make her parents happy.

So to counteract the ill feeling I had all weekend after that, I'm watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Submit this.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009


So my mother in law is moving in again, this time for a long term arrangement. I'm conflicted: obviously there's NO way either of us would ever say no to her moving in, because she's truly in a place where she needs some help and we're the kids in the best position to provide it. Last time she lived with us it was temporary while she looked for an apartment after moving back from Arizona. This time she's getting out of a bad relationship and needs a chance to get her shit together.

But much as I love her and she's family, this will bring out so many stressors large and small in our household. Space is a huge thing for us: we are not small people and it's easy to feel cramped. Plus, I'm losing my office entirely this time, as we've decided to give her as much time as she needs to get going, which means she needs a room truly her own. In all fairness, he's losing his space also: we're moving my office into his and sharing, so I feel better than the last few times we've had longer term guests/renters. I hope we'll get along ok in there. And I really hope he doesn't get too cranky in general, the way he usually does when someone else is living with us.

There are small annoyances living with a third person when a couple is used to their own house. The upstairs bedroom doors are always open (even all night) to give the dog roaming ability and to let air flow. I won't be able to run to the bathroom in the middle of the night without dragging out a robe...or get out of the shower and run downstairs to grab clean clothes from the more person to figure out dinner schedules, tv schedules, etc. None of these are dealbreakers, just the side effects of a larger family than two that I'll need to get used to all over again.

I AM rather excited about her habit of cleaning when she's bored. And we don't generally have that "it's my house" thing between us. Overall it'll be good, but I'll miss my nearly perfect privacy. Aah, family.


I'm in my second month of teaching level 1 bellydance, and as it turns out I enjoy it. A lot more than I thought I would: I was so afraid I'd do the first class and absolutely hate it and be stuck for two months while subbing. But surprisingly enough, teaching seems to bring out that hidden leader in me, and I think my students are having fun. I have four classes left, and I'm sort of sad that's it.