|But my feet are so TASTY! It's exhausting...|
- Stop licking your feet.
- NO HUMPING YOUR BROTHER!
- Thor, don't bite Chewy's face when he's coming back in. Wait until he's through the door, fucker, it's COLD out there.
- DO NOT EAT THAT POOP!
- Seriously, Thor, stop eating your goddamn feet.
- It's rude to stare at my plate.
- No, you can't have anything here (pointing at plate). MINE.
- NO LICKING MY FORK, ASSHOLE!
- Uh Oh!! (note this is immediately followed by two lumbering oafs barreling into our little kitchen to clean up whatever edible bits of tasty goodness I dropped on the floor).
- Thor, I can pee on my own. I don't need your help. Wait outside.
- Godammit, I said DO NOT push the door open!
- Sigh Fine. Get your nose out of my face...I saw you eat poop earlier.
- THOR! (followed by a pointed look from me to the dog who's foot is in his mouth. Again. He generally drops it, sighs, and stares at me forlornly).
- Chewy! NO BLOWJOBS!! Leave your brother's junk alone, dude. That's gross.
- NO HUMPING!
- Chew! Get out of the way or I'll have Luke cut off your other arm.*
|That would be root beer all over my nose. It was yummy.|
Seriously, if you STILL don't get this reference, all I can say is go have a Star Wars marathon. In the proper order: IV, V, VI, I, II, III (if you must...I hated II and III, to be honest. All that horrific WHINING by Hayden Christensen...ugh).
**Both of my dogs do actually know the words "Breakfast" and "dinner." It's the best way to get them to come a-runnin if they're dawdling during a pee break. They also know "biscuit," "bath," "ball", "Furface," "treats," "cheeseburgers," "ride/car/go," "walk," "dog park," "wipe your mouth" and "use your words." Sometimes their vocabulary is entertaining. Sometimes it's irritating as hell.