Monday, March 31, 2014

Monday is for...Face-Rending Owl Muppets

To begin your week, I give you True Facts About The Owl.

Because they disguise themselves as Muppets.

Thank you to my friend Angie over at Is This Where You Want to be When Raptor Jesus Comes? for referring me to zefrank1 at YouTube. I now follow this dude, because I CAN'T. STOP. LAUGHING.

It's as good as Chewbacca Bellydancing.

Yup. You're welcome. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Oh Groupon,You Sneaky Assassin

Today, nestled in the innocuous Groupon email offers for tasty dinners, pedicures, and odd products, there was a super awesome opportunity for cheap Skydiving.

Let's not focus on how I'd rather pay full price for a death-defying activity for now. I'm not against skydiving: I'd be interested except I'd barf on the poor tandem person I'm strapped to, resulting in said tandem person unstrapping me out of sheer disgust (and blindness), resulting in my horrific splatty death. maybe skydiving isn't for me.

Regardless, the actual description is as follows:

After 15 minutes of training, you'll enjoy a free fall from 10,00 ft. and gentle landing while strapped to a USPA Certified Tandem Master.

I'm not sure about you, but I'd want more than 15 minutes of fucking training before I scream my way through a 10,000 foot fall and  gentle splat.

I'm on to you, Groupon.

Monday, March 17, 2014

I'm Stuck in Post-Vacation, Post-New-Book Blahs...

You know that feeling? The one where you FINALLY get the second book in a series you like so much you'll ignore everything to read it (everything = eating, sex, feeding the dogs, showering, sleeping, working, oh shit was that a husband who just walked by? I'm not sure...I'm utterly lost in a different world)?


So I have a few post-vacation pics and stories to share, but I'm still a little trapped in Anne Bishop's world full of The Others in the Courtyard.

I waited a LONG time for book two, and of course I read it in a day. Dammit. DAMMIT! Of course there's no word on the next book, since she's still working on the promotion and (hopefully) enjoying the success of the current new release.

As a writer who has yet to finish book one of the series in my head, I totally get it. I must wait. As a voracious reader of her work, I'm an impatient woman.

If you haven't read Anne Bishop and you enjoy dark fantasy, do so. Immediately.

You may begin with The Black Jewels Trilogy, omnibus edition, of course: witches, demons, and undead...they're the good guys.

Or The Tir Alainn trilogy: Fae, witches, and inquisitors.

Or Sebastian, first of the Ephemera novels: a broken world, a powerful woman, and an incubus. It's not what you think.

Or if you'd like to join me in my newest OBSESSION: The Others. Written in Red is the beginning (humans versus nature in a most unexpectedly excellently dark way). Murder of Crows is book two. I finished it in a day...and I'll read it again this week, because I can't quite let go of that universe yet.

Beware: getting lost in her worlds is a significant, terrible and wonderful danger.

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Dear Russia: Goats, Unicorns, Babies, Spam can all be found here.

I'm amused that some of my labels increase the Russian and Eastern European traffic exponentially. Since said labels are "This Isn't Porn" and "These Are Not the Penises You're Looking For" I'd say they're not reading closely enough...after all, I think it's pretty goddamned clear.

So hello, all you porn-surfing-peeps who accidentally arrived at my page! For you, I have the dirtiest picture currently in my phone. Behold the filth:

I'm unimpressed.

You guys know this will only increase my religious dating/enlargements/get-a-loan-now spam quotient, right?

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

THIS Surpasses "Darth Creepiness"

Remember that time when I bought a Lego Sarlacc and put sad-faced Lego people heads on it? Because I'm disturbing and fun?

Today, super cool Sarah at This Is How The Apocalypse Starts has FAR FAR surpassed my creepiness.

I'm proud to know her internetness.

Go read this immediately:

You're welcome for the nightmares.