Working from home is probably the best bennie to high-speed internet access and a job that is 95% Excel based. It's snowing like hell today in Minnesota: I'd say this is the biggest storm we've had all winter (as per usual, most of our year's snow comes in March, when it's SUPPOSED to be spring). And I'm not stuck driving in it: yay! I wish I could say the same for my sister, who hopefully is at work now...
Much news to report, I guess. In order of the best: The loafer (not possible to call the boy a roommate since he never acted like one: moocher yes, loafer, yes, bad example of the lack-of-motivation Pot can give a person: yes. Roommate? Nope. Anyway, he's gone. If I'd been a little less empathetic he would've been gone the day he flipped out swearing at me over the dog, but I was too pissed to even speak, and by the time I could again my "look at it from his point of view" thing had kicked in. Damn inconvenient sometimes, empathy. So I let him stay. About two weeks later he did the same thing to Dave. At work, over something stupid. Dave told him to get the hell out. Yay!
The wind is howling outside and snow is driving at the windows sideways. It's enough to make a girl wonder if winter is throwing out the last gasp today or truly unwilling to give up for spring.
And in complete random acts of writing: last night I gave my first belly dance performance at the Ammala School of Dance Hafla. I was a nervous wreck, and I loved every second of it. I'm completely hooked: I'm a level 2 dancer now and hope to practice enough to eventually move into level 3 and up. My teacher is an absolute inspiration (regardless of the fact I find her hot as hell) and now I'm starting to babble about it...suffice it to say, I guess, that I never thought I'd like performing in front of people, but that was just great fun all around.
Ok. I suppose if I'm going to work from home I should at LEAST get the main project done for the day. After that I'm home free! Ha, so to speak...
Monday, March 13, 2006
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Roommates...oy
We acquired a roommate. Houseguest. Not really sure what to call him. But lately my nerves are fraying more than a little.
He stopped to stay with us for a couple of days before thanskgiving on his way from MN to Florida on his motorcycle. Let's not even get into the stupidity of thinking you have time to get from MN to Missouri in late NOvember without getting caught by at least one snowstorm. So when he DID get snowed (and frozen) in it started out as no big deal.
Except now it's been two months, and our relatively large house (for two) feels significantly smaller. He's ALWAYS here, because he has no money and so far hasn't bothered to get a job of any kind. He eats as much as my hubby (large LARGE appetite) and doesn't (again, no money) pitch in for groceries. He does take out the garbage regularly and do the dishes more often then either of us, and he does take care of the dog. However, when did our paychecks become his meal ticket? We don't charge him rent because he doesn't have his own room (he's in one of the offices) and sleeps on a couch. However certain other bills have gone up just by virtue of having an extra person in the house, AND becuase that person is home all the time. ELectric, for instance, and the said grocery bill. It's getting very irritating. Unfortunately, I can't really tell if I'm irked because it's January and I'm generally really restless this time of year (I've been looking for a trip to take for three weeks now, but we can't afford to go anywhere this soon after Christmas anyway) and frustrated in general, or if it's him. I suspect it's a combo of both, and that my hubby is also restless and cranky this time of year. So we're all on edge and bickering and I swear if this guy had a car instead of a bike I think I'd send him somewhere else.
*sigh*
He stopped to stay with us for a couple of days before thanskgiving on his way from MN to Florida on his motorcycle. Let's not even get into the stupidity of thinking you have time to get from MN to Missouri in late NOvember without getting caught by at least one snowstorm. So when he DID get snowed (and frozen) in it started out as no big deal.
Except now it's been two months, and our relatively large house (for two) feels significantly smaller. He's ALWAYS here, because he has no money and so far hasn't bothered to get a job of any kind. He eats as much as my hubby (large LARGE appetite) and doesn't (again, no money) pitch in for groceries. He does take out the garbage regularly and do the dishes more often then either of us, and he does take care of the dog. However, when did our paychecks become his meal ticket? We don't charge him rent because he doesn't have his own room (he's in one of the offices) and sleeps on a couch. However certain other bills have gone up just by virtue of having an extra person in the house, AND becuase that person is home all the time. ELectric, for instance, and the said grocery bill. It's getting very irritating. Unfortunately, I can't really tell if I'm irked because it's January and I'm generally really restless this time of year (I've been looking for a trip to take for three weeks now, but we can't afford to go anywhere this soon after Christmas anyway) and frustrated in general, or if it's him. I suspect it's a combo of both, and that my hubby is also restless and cranky this time of year. So we're all on edge and bickering and I swear if this guy had a car instead of a bike I think I'd send him somewhere else.
*sigh*
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Signs...
Two months ago my grandfather, only in his mid-50's, passed away. Quick and unexpected, Grandpa apparently left a lot of unfinished business. The night of his visitation something knocked the power out to the house when the family had gathered for dinner. The night of his funeral there was a shooting star over my aunt's farm. It was so low it literally looked like someone waved a sparkler in the sky above the pasture. Coincidence? Maybe. It's entirely possible I'm reading things into this because I miss him.
BUT. My 5 and 7 year old cousins were incredibly close to him, especially the 7 year old. They had a special bond: kindred spirits from the day she was born. A couple of weeks ago she refused to ride her aunt's new horse (something Shayne would NEVER refuse to do: she's absolutely fearless) without any explanation. After some cajoling my aunt finally gave up and put the new mare out to pasture: where a frezied bout of kicking, bucking, and general wild behavior ensued. Later Shayne told her mom "Grandpa said not to ride that horse." My aunt acquired the new mare AFTER Grandpa's death. The 5 year old, Shayne's younger sister, has randomly said things like "why would I miss Grandpa? He's right here! Can't you see him???" and go on about her playtime without a second thought.
And as for the rest of us, us adults who miss him so? Another aunt (there's 8 kids in that family) was mysteriously gifted today with a kitten who looks quite disturbingly like her favorite cat. The cat who'd had to be put down this spring for various health reasons. This kitten appeared in the middle of their pasture, a long way from the road, by himself. Coincidence that the new squirt is exactly the same color and sex as her old cat, and randomly appeared in a section of the pasture she rarely visits on the day she's there?
My grandmother has dreams that she's crying and Grandpa's holding her, telling her it will get better and she'll be ok. The night before she took her horses down to the big show they did as a couple every year for 15 years she had a dream where Grandpa very clearly said "if they want to buy the team SELL." The 2nd day of the show someone wanted to buy one of her 4-up hitch team. She sold.
I'm certain there are simple coincidental explanations for all of these. I'm sure logic and science can put each occurrence into its own compartment, removing any connection and proving he had nothing to do with them. How much of faith is truly blind? I'm a very logical person, but there are some things I just can't explain away by logic. Am I simply ignorant, or is there a point where I have to leave logic behind and simply believe that 1) I don't know everything, nor should I, and 2) there is something out there bigger than I am.
I may be logical, I may have grown up in a scientific age. I still see magic in science, I see poetry and art and a Power in nature. Do I believe in afterlife? Absofuckinglutely. Do I believe in the traditional Judeo-Christian version of God? Not really. I'm more of a Lord and Lady person: balance and recurring cycles are in nature, why wouldn't they apply to us? As humans we are not above the laws of nature, much as we'd like to forget. So it makes sense that death is only another phase of a cycle. And there are times I know in the core of my soul that there IS something, someone, a Power, out there. Because I'm a feminist I see It as Her...and I see Her everywhere: in art, in beauty, in creativity, in Spring and Fall, in the way trees bend under the violence of a good thunderstorm, in the destructive wake of a tornado, and most especially in the Gloaming: that time of day when the sun is just dipping below the horizon and the clouds glow across the sky.
Maybe it's a silly thing, to take comfort in the idea that Grandpa is out there waiting. In my mind he's hanging out with the Goddess discussing planting strategies and looking out for Grandma and the rest of us. I hope so.
Two months ago my grandfather, only in his mid-50's, passed away. Quick and unexpected, Grandpa apparently left a lot of unfinished business. The night of his visitation something knocked the power out to the house when the family had gathered for dinner. The night of his funeral there was a shooting star over my aunt's farm. It was so low it literally looked like someone waved a sparkler in the sky above the pasture. Coincidence? Maybe. It's entirely possible I'm reading things into this because I miss him.
BUT. My 5 and 7 year old cousins were incredibly close to him, especially the 7 year old. They had a special bond: kindred spirits from the day she was born. A couple of weeks ago she refused to ride her aunt's new horse (something Shayne would NEVER refuse to do: she's absolutely fearless) without any explanation. After some cajoling my aunt finally gave up and put the new mare out to pasture: where a frezied bout of kicking, bucking, and general wild behavior ensued. Later Shayne told her mom "Grandpa said not to ride that horse." My aunt acquired the new mare AFTER Grandpa's death. The 5 year old, Shayne's younger sister, has randomly said things like "why would I miss Grandpa? He's right here! Can't you see him???" and go on about her playtime without a second thought.
And as for the rest of us, us adults who miss him so? Another aunt (there's 8 kids in that family) was mysteriously gifted today with a kitten who looks quite disturbingly like her favorite cat. The cat who'd had to be put down this spring for various health reasons. This kitten appeared in the middle of their pasture, a long way from the road, by himself. Coincidence that the new squirt is exactly the same color and sex as her old cat, and randomly appeared in a section of the pasture she rarely visits on the day she's there?
My grandmother has dreams that she's crying and Grandpa's holding her, telling her it will get better and she'll be ok. The night before she took her horses down to the big show they did as a couple every year for 15 years she had a dream where Grandpa very clearly said "if they want to buy the team SELL." The 2nd day of the show someone wanted to buy one of her 4-up hitch team. She sold.
I'm certain there are simple coincidental explanations for all of these. I'm sure logic and science can put each occurrence into its own compartment, removing any connection and proving he had nothing to do with them. How much of faith is truly blind? I'm a very logical person, but there are some things I just can't explain away by logic. Am I simply ignorant, or is there a point where I have to leave logic behind and simply believe that 1) I don't know everything, nor should I, and 2) there is something out there bigger than I am.
I may be logical, I may have grown up in a scientific age. I still see magic in science, I see poetry and art and a Power in nature. Do I believe in afterlife? Absofuckinglutely. Do I believe in the traditional Judeo-Christian version of God? Not really. I'm more of a Lord and Lady person: balance and recurring cycles are in nature, why wouldn't they apply to us? As humans we are not above the laws of nature, much as we'd like to forget. So it makes sense that death is only another phase of a cycle. And there are times I know in the core of my soul that there IS something, someone, a Power, out there. Because I'm a feminist I see It as Her...and I see Her everywhere: in art, in beauty, in creativity, in Spring and Fall, in the way trees bend under the violence of a good thunderstorm, in the destructive wake of a tornado, and most especially in the Gloaming: that time of day when the sun is just dipping below the horizon and the clouds glow across the sky.
Maybe it's a silly thing, to take comfort in the idea that Grandpa is out there waiting. In my mind he's hanging out with the Goddess discussing planting strategies and looking out for Grandma and the rest of us. I hope so.
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