Monday, February 18, 2013

Yes Medusa, my hair IS trying to kill me (or: You won't like it when it's ANGRY)

The past few days have been a rollercoaster. Did you know I'm horridly susceptible to motion sickness? I wonder if I can get a prescription for an emotional-Dramamine-patch...

So, the highs and lows in my fucked up universe in a 72 hour period:

  • Had enough frequent flier miles to visit one of my most favoritest people on the planet, EVER SO CONVENIENTLY located in one of my most favoritest areas of the planet. And so I'm running away for a weekend in March to Seattle. "woohoo" does not cover the furiously excited tickle in my belly while I anticipate.

  • A friend I haven't spoken with (due to miss-meshing schedules, not any nefarious doings) somehow butt-dialed me and left a 3 minute long "message," in which I listened to spirited conversation between her and her 3 year old daughter. I am monumentally entertained.

  • Spent many tear-filled (my fucking eyeballs HURT, and I need a goddamned icepack) hours in emotional-stickymess-laden Arguments of Unusual Size. That was just...fucking FABULOUS. Really. Particularly the remnants that linger today. Sigh. There are times I think shaving my head and joining a remote mountain monastery would be a boon to my sanity.

  • Oh, and said hair (which would be shaved off by now had I not just spent more than I normally would on myself to have a lovely friend attempt to tame it) tried to CHOKE me to death this morning. A pre-sneeze gasp resulted in the hair attempting to wreak revenge (presumably for the abuse I paid for on Saturday morning when my fabulous stylist fixed the caterpillars above my swollen eyeballs AND chemicalized the unruly mop on my head).  Near-death gagging accomplished by snaking its way, all Medusa-like, down my throat.
Since it's apparently difficult to sneeze AND choke to death, my sinuses gave up. So, the cure for the impending allergy season is Medusa hair? Hmm...I'm sure there are a multitude of spit-or-swallow jokes to be made there, but frankly I'm still busy coughing.


  1. All I can think of is the spaghetti medusa I saw in a museum in Seattle... (No, I'm serious.)

    1. OH MY GOD...that is AWESOME.


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