Thursday, June 18, 2015

SpiderFerns Are a Thing Now??

Once in a while people ask where I get ideas for stories, which I think is funny because I can't STOP coming up with stupid and horrifying combinations in my brain that could be a terrible story. I just don't usually share most of them...I'm weird enough already. 

But while downloading pics from my phone tonight (because I'm out of space...again) I found these:
Either the Fern eats tarantulas, or it's breeding a nest of tarantula legs. 
This is a plant that I discovered at Grandma's farm while I was enjoying a quiet and only slightly-mosquito-filled moment on the porch swing. You know, in twilight those stupid leg-root-things look EXACTLY like a nest of furry tarantula legs. A LARGE NEST of them. They were directly behind my head.

It's possible the sound that escaped my yap wasn't entirely human.

I don't have a story for that one...just the sheer horror of stealthy SpiderFerns lying in wait for unsuspecting prey. Ugh.
That is a set of baby teething keys. 
I broke the rules on a hike the other day in the monstrously large park near my house. I wandered amiably along one of the closed trails (meaning, a large wooden "TRAIL CLOSED" sign across the path) because I chose to assume "closed" meant closed only to horses, not to people. That's not actually as odd as it sounds...the trails in this park ARE open to horseback riding...otherwise my assumption would just be foolish.

Anyway, in the far backwoods trail I came across a completely random baby teething toy tied to a tree. It was the only one around, hanging just off the trail. I was (and still am) creeped out. Why? Because that's no helpful person leaving someone's lost toy where it'll easily be found...it was a CLOSED TRAIL. OBVIOUSLY this is the work of some sick serial killer, or worse some elemental creature intent on luring stupid women who go off-trail to their doom. There are several lakes in the park...I can't discount Lorelei. I watch horror movies, people...bad shit happens when people disturb hanging totems in the woods. I left it alone.

Also, I considered all the different disturbing scenarios surrounding those toy keys for the rest of my hike, and had a decent creepy story outlined in my head by the time I got back to the car.

Today someone posted something about Prometheus on my Facebook wall (yes, I should've been working). And yeah, he's on my list for a Myth post...which I'm terribly derelict in handling this summer. Anyway, the picture was a great eagle swooping down toward a nearly-naked Prometheus bound to a rock. Sad for Prometheus...I'm willing to presume it sucks a lot, having all your innards ripped out daily.

But I immediately wondered what happens when a normal creature eats God parts every day for a bazillion years? EVENTUALLY wouldn't some of the extraordinary features pass to the eagle...you are what you eat and all that? What if the Eagle became aware from ingesting too much God-liver and started to feel sorry for Prometheus, or became friendly with him, or fell in love? Hey, Zeus changed into all sorts of beasts to spawn demigods with human women..it's not out of the realm of possibility in Greek myth.

This post has absolutely no point at all...I have no finalized story for any of these, just random ideas that float around in the brainpan when I let things wander about. There is no "where do you find story ideas" factory...it's just a product of the messed up way I think.

Be glad 99% of it never crosses from random thought to something communicated outside my head...it's weird in there.

Also as a side note, I've noticed a plethora of people in the Eastern Bloc "finding" my blog lately. you know, Belarus, Ukraine, Czech Republic...yeah. Amazingly, the posts with certain labels or title key words are the ones viewed...and so I added some fun labels to this post just to prove that while I may occasionally use provocative words, it still isn't porn. Sorry to disappoint, Ukrainians. 

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Unload your brainpan, but please prove you're not a Russian spam-bot. Or Skynet. I don't want the T1000 after me.