Halloween

Yeah yeah, it's been months and months since I've posted. Tonight is Samhain: the Pagan New Year when spirits walk about, the dead are remembered, negativity can be put behind you to start fresh, the harvest is all in, and we're moving toward the darkest time of the year. I've been spending my time (while waiting for trick-or-treaters to show up) thinking about the past six months' events. I turned 30, my marriage has made it through a serious rocky patch, I've returned to the book...and suddenly tomorrow is November 1st and we only have two months left of 2007.

It's our anniversary today, which also causes reflection in my mind. After all, four years have flown by. I've discovered since turning 30 that I have very little patience for drama, especially drama caused for "fun" by lonely, sad people. I've discovered that I'm far less concerned with looking stupid so I'm much more open to learn. I've discovered that I wasn't being fair to my husband in a truly fundamental way, and while our rocky patch was caused by multiple factors, fixing it required us both to make some changes. By the time Festival started in August I was exhausted in every way. I discovered I wasn't happy and need to make some serious adjustments, and now is the time.

And while we made it through and are now stronger than we were four years ago when we said our vows, I wonder what makes people willing to do whatever is necessary to keep a marriage alive and intact, and what makes them give up. Close friends of ours are currently in the midst of what could end up a very nasty divorce. In some ways their relationship started similarly to ours, so how did we avoid going wrong? It's something I think about a lot, actually, because I don't want to fuck this up by being an idiot. And I don't want to fuck it up by being blind, either.

Halloween makes me think of my grandfather, Ron, who died three years ago. Our wedding was the last big event he attended with the family, and I still miss him. His death has drastically changed my aunts' and cousins' lives, because they were so close. The way people deal with death is so very interesting. Dave tends to be sympathetic but relatively unmoved by death in general: becuase it's a part of life and he's not really afraid the way most people are of dying. If I really think hard about it, death itself doesn't scare me too much because I'm pretty firm in my belief that it's a door, just as birth is, to whatever's next.

No, it's pain that scares me, because underneath all my bravado I'm a wimp at heart. Still working on that.

Convergence 2007

I spent the past few days immersed in geekdom, and while I'm rather proud to say I never donned Spock ears or a Klingon mask (my husband speaks Klingon: I figure one ubergeek in the family is enough), I did learn a few things.

Women over 350lbs can be gorgeous. Not in a schoolgirl miniskirt outfit jiggling their knees.

Men at ANY size look silly in cardboard costumes.

Don't mess with Klingons: they stick together.

Avoid any Rudybrew UNLESS you're trying to get completely schnockered. If that is your goal, enjoy! Excellent mixes if you like 100% alchohol and no mixer...yum!

I cannot share a hotel room, even withclose friends, because inevitably someone snores...or moves...during the night and my husband can't sleep, which in turn causes a 4:30am drive home, thus completely wasting the $100 we spent on the room.

I am not an exhibitionist, although I do enjoy giggling at those who are.

I voted Xena for President.

Normal life takes some serious adjustment after 4th of July weekend. Oy.

TRANSFORMERS!

So we saw the new Transformers movie on Monday night. Flashback to opening night of the first new Star Wars movie...peeps in really bad cardboard costumes, reeking of spray paint, and way too much audience participation. I'll probably go see it again after the fanfare wears off so I can actually watch the movie without as many interruptions...because it was damn entertaining.

Michael Bay, of Armageddon fame, made a pretty wild ride, although I'll say right off that the ORIGINAL Bumblebee camaro was WAY cooler...you'll see what I mean. The Autobots and Decepticons themselves were so realistic you couldn't tell the real car from the CG robot: very cool. And the desert scenes were flat out awesome. A little too much teen angst, but overall it was a great fun movie. Shia LeBouf did an excellent job! Rumor has it there's already a sequel in talks, which could be great if Bay does it again.

Then again, I'm not a movie snob: I liked 300 and can't wait for it to be released on DVD this month. Doesn't make any difference to me that the movie didn't accurately portray the event as it happened, becuase MOVIES ARE FICTION. Fiction as in fun, not-entirely-truthful depictions, even if loosely based on actual events. On top of that, the movie was based on a COMIC BOOK, so there's an entire extra level of dilution. And I loved it loved it loved it. I'll be 30 in a few weeks...and that one will be on my list!!