Positively UnManning

Tonight a sound emerged from my husband that I've never heard before. Get your mind out of the gutter and I'll elaborate...

My husband is 6'5 and generally manages to intimidate most people simply by virtue of the serious look that seems to be his default setting, especially at Renaissance Festival. The man has dealt with all manner of violent people, ishiness, and tense situations.

Tonight he was momentarily brought low by the one of the most natural reactions a dog can have to people eating: drool. We have a German Shepherd...long ropy drool remiscent of Turner and Hooch isn't his norm. In fact, other than the explosion of shedding we deal with twice a year, Thor is quite tidy. Unless you have something on your plate that smells particularly intoxicating...tonight it was lemon chicken and couscous.

Not only one, but TWO long ropes of clear, sticky slobber slowly stretched from the corners of Thor's mouth, as he very politely tried to sit still and hope against hope that SOMEONE will drop something in the vicinity of his mouth. Of course, early on we taught him "wipe your mouth" in defense of wild dribbling following a trip to the water bowl, but the boy was just so enamored with our chicken dinners that his wiping was cursory at best.

So he reached out toward the hubby's bare leg, undoubtedly to indicate he's DONE the mouth wiping, thank you, and where's the reward?

My husband said, and I quote "EWWW!" in a VERY 13-year-old-girl tone, and jerked his leg out of the way. This is the same man who will not notice he's bleeding all over the place until he gets it on something or I holler at him.

And luckily my dog is too dingy to realize a fundamental truth in our household: Drool is power.

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate for me...Spoiler

So Pirates 3 did NOT provide the Disney-like fairy-tale ending I craved. I'm disturbed by the relatively tragic ending, and the "wait until after the credits" advice was not enough to replace my general sense of sadness upon exiting the theater. I actually dreamed about it that night, and not only because Orlando Bloom is ridiculously hot in black silk.

Perhaps it's the lack of closure: to this day I'll have nightmares if I watch a supernatural/monster horror movie and the evil entity doesn't die in the end. When I was a child I saw exactly half of Tremors on tv. I wasn't allowed to see the end because 8pm was bedtime when I was 10. For the entire summer I RAN from my front porch to the barn, convinced that if I could just make it to concrete the ishy, girl-eating worms couldn't get me. Of course, my horse would announce any danger when I was riding, so that was never an issue, but I didn't set food on the grass for months.

I'm nearly 30 and haven't changed: The Grudge? I was up for three days. I actually woke up hearing that horrific sound the ghost made coming from some dark corner in my room. Turned out the dog snores.

Back to Johnny Depp's protuding probiscus and the un-Disney ending. I'm unsatisfied! It's been nearly a week and I remain downright depressed about the fate of the lovers, because seeing my husband once every 10 years would be damned disheartening. If he's immortal, is she also? If not, what a horrible fate for both of them! Jesus, they FINALLY get married and get some, only to find out he's only allowed to see her once every 10 years? I find the lack of details irritating, and hope the whole thing is hinting at another sequel instead of leaving it at that.

Often legends are legends because horrible things happen to the hero and heroine, but dammit, there should be SOME closure! Maybe that's why I'm so fascinated with Nora Roberts books...she takes horrible lovelorn legends and RESOLVES them with happy endings. And who couldn't use a happy ending now and again?

Captaining the Flying Dutchman clearly agrees with Will Turner, though...good God I needed kleenex to wipe the drool. I've already informed my husband that I won't rest until he's in possession of a black silk pirate costume...Yum!

Shimmying Abounds!

So in a few weeks I'll be in a bellydance show. It'll be the first time I'll have performed in over a year...I'm already a little nervous. I was going to do the student performance at the hafla in June, but it's been cancelled. Instead, on Father's Day weekend I'll perform with some of my class (NOT a solo:woohoo!) at a benefit for no-kill animal shelters in the Twin Cities area.

Yup. Terror is setting in, but excitement is close on the heels and I need to get some SERIOUS practice in before we start rehearsals, since class doesn't even start again for two weeks. Dave thinks it's hilarious that I shimmy subconsciously when I'm supposed to be standing still. I seriously don't know I'm doing it until he points it out. I probably look like I have to pee, but all practice is good practice!

Oh, and I'm EVER so glad to be home. Missed my hubby, missed my dog, missed my own bed. About in that order, too. One more week until the MIL moves out, which will be weird. She's been here so long I may actually miss her, since when Dave's in a gaming craze she's usually around and able to have a conversation without getting distracted by killing giant spiders or whatever else is on WOW.

Ishy!

I'm stuck in Columbus, OH until tomorrow night. Boring business trips give me some quiet time to work on the book, but it's 7:22pm and I just wish I was home.

Book Review

So I finished Lady of the Light by Donna Gillespie on the plane yesterday. It's the long-overdue sequel to The Light Bearer. Donna Gillespie has done SERIOUS homework on Roman and Germanic history to write this series. In The Light Bearer, Auriane, the lead character, is a Chattian chieftain's daughter who "marries Wodan" to become a fierce woman warrior in the fight against Rome during the despotic reigns of Nero through Domitian. She's captured and becomes the most famous and celebrated Gladiatrix, falling in love with a Roman noble somewhere in the mix, having a daughter, and turning the world upside down. It's the most engaging depiction of Roman life, from the wonders of their engineering to the daily life of the average soldier, that I've ever read. And I read a LOT of Roman, Celtic, and tribal histories. Contrary to a certain snooty perpetual (as in 5+ years) masters student I know, people can learn as a hobby and know as much as a student. But that's a different post entirely.

I waited YEARS for the sequel, which starts years after Auriane has won her freedom and has renounced iron in favor of peace. Now the Domina of a noble house on the border between the Chattians and the Romans, she struggles to reconcile her love of her Roman philosopher and her duty to her people. To complicate her life even further, her two daughters are night and day: both 1/2 Roman, the eldest thinks she's full Tribal and hates all things Roman other than her own family. The youngest prefers to think herself a future Domina and has no interest in learning about her mother's people at all. The family, tribal, and political dynamics layer Gillespie's story with reality well beyond a simple hero-worship story told around a campfire. Unfortunately, this is only the 2nd in a series of three: all I can do is hope the final chapter takes less time to show up on the shelves than Lady of the Light.

Work is Hell!

I wasn't ready to come home!! Portland, Oregon is quite possibly the only place I'd move barring Ireland and Duluth. Since Dave's interested in neither of my other two options...we may be hoofing it out to the west coast after all, someday. Preferably in Cannon Beach, where the water is gorgeous and the town is small and touristy...Dave could open a custom shop becuase the cars NEVER rust out there, and I can write. Very inspiring view.

It was the most dog-friendly city I've ever seen. Dogs were even allowed on the beach: Florida has laws against that sort of frolicking. WEed need a week or two more to really decide, but I loved it there.

Erin was there, which is hard to even articulate properly. I missed her. A lot. I miss her more now that we're home, but she's coming to visit us sometime this summer...good thing. Two years is too long to go without my Erin fix.

So. I have a few more days then a trip to Ohio (Columbus, woohoo) for work. Then Memorial Day weekend, then Girls weekend. I haven't even seen Elyse's Lola yet!

Day 2, and PORTLAND!

It's day 2 of WW...I'm giving this a 17 week trial (because the damn meetings cost a BIG chunk o'change for the stupid 17 weeks) to see if I hit my personal goals. If so, I'll continue WW online (which is significantly cheaper and actually has MORE resources than the meetings, where you have to buy everything separate on top of the near $200 to join). Yeah. I guess I'm in a skeptical "we'll see" stage.

We're off to Portland to see Erin tomorrow. AND to check out the Pacific Northwest. I've figured out I need to live someplace 1) GREEN, 2) near big water and 3) preferably more temperate than Minnesota. Since I'm fairly certain moving Dave to Ireland isn't an option because I haven't gotten that 5 book deal yet (haha), we're searching for alternatives. I'm hoping the Portland/Seattle/Vancouver area of the world will be one, but if not we'll be off to find another corner to explore.

Between my great-grandma's death last week, the concert, an arrest in the family, and this trip I've had about as much success in getting significant writing done as my dog. And he drools on the keyboard. Hopefully things will slow down (or I'll speed up) a bit in the next week or two. The shit of it is, I've been particularly idea-full lately and have multiple characters and plotlines ready to develop, after the book of course.

The WW Nation...er Office

Tomorrow is W day. As in WW...as in Weight Watchers because my fat butt needs some help. There, I said it: I suck at dieting, and I need help. I only hope it's not too horrifying to be weighed in a group of people. But maybe it'll motivate me with shame. *sigh*

Actually I feel pretty guilty right now: I'm a bad dog mommie. My 2 year old German Shepherd, Thor, is seriously tired out and panting like a madman right now, because I threw the stick for him for about a 1/2 hour. A 1/2 HOUR! So not only am I woefully out of shape, but HE is. And that's my responsibility. Grr.

My Mental Health

Waning. It's waning. I had to take most of the day off today and put my resume out there for a bunch of different jobs. Still looking, actually. If I'm going to be stuck in Corporate hell at least I should be able to be part of creating something instead of JUST pushing paper.

I know, I know. I should be working on the book. I've been working on the outline, but every time I get ready to actually write I freeze. How damn stupid is that? Today, instead of getting some writing done I'm watching Sex and the City, putting my resume out there, and updating my blog. The blog nobody reads, of course.

yah. having a depressed day, I guess.

A Random "ARGH!"

I know someone interested in becoming a law-enforcement official of some sort. The idea of that person with more power than the average dude just scares the bejesus out of me.

If I was prone to believe such things I'd think it's another sign from the universe that it's time to move out of Minnesota to somewhere else entirely. So we're off to Portland in 2 weeks to see if it's a possibility. The hubby wants to move someplace with little to no snow...I refuse to move anywhere the road melts underneath my car. This leaves us very few options in the US, actually. I'm working on Ireland, but I think Carlee would freak out if we moved that far away.

My psycho dog has managed to give himself a yeast infection between his TOES. That's right, athlete's foot can apparently be given by too-vigorous foot-licking. Needless to say I've kept Thor away from MY toes ever since. Ishy.

My MIL is moving out in T-30 days. If I could figure out how to put a countdown on this blog I'd do so...30 days until I get my office and some little shred of my brainpan back. Until then it's picking up kleenex and closing the garage door as usual. *sigh*