Saturday, June 23, 2012

Apple loves me. And so do random old men at the mall.

I often have odd encounters with random strangers: they like to tell me everything about their lives. I've counseled cabbies in Denver through their breakups and given sex advice to people on planes. I don't know why they tell me all their secrets, but it happens. A lot. I've never gotten a letter of devotion from a corporation OR been solicited by someone at the Mall of America though. I guess I can cross those off my "more weird shit I encounter" list.

AppleCare (Apple's customer service department, in case you're not part of the most fabulous cult on earth and I LOVE YOU APPLE...please don't kill my iphone because of this post) sent me a love letter. Ok, to be fair a charming person working on behalf of Apple sent me a love letter...anyway. I downloaded a fabulous Scottish CD The Speyside Sessions last Sunday and had some glitches with the download. So I sent a note to customer service letting them know what happened in case it was an issue, promptly downloaded the missing songs again, and forgot all about it.

Monday I had a form-letter-ish note from a man at AppleCare giving me all my options to delete and re-download the album. Honestly, since I'm inherently lazy and already had it working I didn't read the note closely. Tuesday I received this:
Hello again,

I wanted to send a quick note to see if you are still experiencing any difficulties with the iTunes Store. Resolving your issue is important to me, so please don't hesitate to reply if you need any further assistance.

Sincerely,

REDACTED to save Apple Guy's job in case Apple finds this post
iTunes Store Customer Support

Sure: still form-letter-ish but I figured the dude couldn't close out his support ticket until I responded. So I did, with a little form-letter "thanks for all your help man, it's all fixed, yay Apple!" email. What happened next was...odd.  Pleasant, but odd nonetheless.

Hi Jess,

REDACTED here again from iTunes Store Support.

I wrote again to say that you're very welcome. It has been my pleasure assisting you, and I always will.

I am very glad to hear that I was able to help you. Your dedication to the iTunes Store reflects my dedication to providing you with not only the service and support that you deserve, but that you have come to expect from Apple and the iTunes Store.

Nothing makes Apple happier than to hear that we have pleased our customers. I hope that you continue to enjoy the iTunes Store as well as the Apple Products.

I will now close this request, but do not worry, we are just an email away if you need any assistance in the future, Jess.

Have a nice day! Keep smiling and take care!

Sincerely,
REDACTED


He will always help me. Always.

In other news, last night at the Mall of America I think I was casually propositioned by an older man who repeatedly said he had money in his pockets. Sigh. I only think so because there's a slight possibility he was just bored and lonely and...sigh. That only supports the hooker case. I didn't really think of it until later: I originally thought maybe he was yet another person who figures I'll listen to anything they want to tell me.
I'm 99% sure I didn't look like a prostitute standing outside the Mall of America Barnes and Noble, but I could be wrong.  In any case, after casual chatting about what we do for work, living in MN vs California, and the amount of money in his pocket he eventually saw my wedding ring, Then he made a strange "I have a food baby" reference to his belly and walked away. I'm rolling my eyes as I write this post, FYI.

2 comments:

  1. Hmm, forward the apple guy my email, I could use some random love notes, ha! I love Apple, they fix my phone and computer for free even if I let my iPhone get run over by a car.... Again. Not under warranty? No problem! Old man? You can keep that one. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. dude you did NOT look like a prostitute!!! :-) He just thought you were AWESOME and wished he could entice you somehow....

    ReplyDelete

Unload your brainpan, but please prove you're not a Russian spam-bot. Or Skynet. I don't want the T1000 after me.