Wednesday, January 04, 2012

They're not Resolutions. They're goals with loose morals.

Sometimes the ability for one person to do anything that will make a difference to someone 10,000 miles away is so overwhelmingly insurmountable that said person has to just hope. I know my last few posts were pretty irritated: I'm easily fired up by a few topics, and violence against women is one of my top three. Unfortunately, there truly isn't a damn thing I can do for the women in Afghanistan other than read the news, share, and support the troops. Since I find this frustrating, demoralizing, and depressing I'm working on getting better at creating some sort of boundary between my need to fix everything and the reality that I simply can't in many cases. I can, however, volunteer locally, and I plan to do so in 2012.

I didn't do "resolutions" per se this year, mostly because I'm out of practice. I used to set goals on 1/1 every year in a variety of areas: budget-wise, spiritually, physically, and creatively. I still sort of feel like I'm coming out of a two year fog after my time at my last job: it was so utterly soul-suckingly-exhausting, the idea that I can PLAN instead of living my life airport to airport still seems unreal.

But I DO have some pretty serious goals for 2012, just in case it IS the end. Haha. First, while I'm unemployed (and diligently looking, MN Unemployment), I'm finishing my book. The great and horrible thing about writing every day is that my sleepy creative mind is now WIDE AWAKE. Which means I have a list of other ideas swirling around in there that sometimes get in the way of finishing the novel I'm working on. Dammit!! It's awesome that I have another character forming AND a series of 2 or 4 in the works in my head, but this is ridiculous. I wish I had a professional writer to talk to so I could find out if this is something everyone deals with and how on earth they can focus on one when another insistent entity is knocking on the brainpan.

In the meantime I have to just work on getting it all out.

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Unload your brainpan, but please prove you're not a Russian spam-bot. Or Skynet. I don't want the T1000 after me.