Friday, May 30, 2014

Dear Google: I Like It. Keep That Shit Up.

In case you haven't seen her recent post, The Bloggess did an excellently fun TBT yesterday. http://thebloggess.com/2014/05/throwback-thursday-google-knows-me-a-little-too-well/


And because it IS hilarious, I looked up "Jess" on Googlism this morning.

Of the long list of random shit, my favorites:

"Jess is the coolest girl in the world." Fucking duh, Google.

"Jess is trying to go back to a normal life." Unsuccessfully, by the way. And that's probably best.

"Jess is dying." Aren't we all?

"Jess is psycho gay goth fencing bitch" I beg to differ: I've never been goth during my Fencing Booth days at the MN Renaissance festival. I can be a bitch, psycho, and I do think women are super cool, though.

"Jess is hot and bad boys are more fun anyway"  Seems somewhat at odds with the last one, but ok

"Jess is like the little devious trouble" Again, Duh.

And my ultimate favorite:
"Jess is an Australian kelpie." Fuck yeah!

In other news, I'd like to think Wolverine has apparently visited the elevator in the parking garage at work. However, due to my recent viewing of Hugh Jackman's most excellent butt X-Men: Days of Future Past, I can categorically say Wolverine would leave 3 claw marks on the wall, NOT four.


WHAT THE FUCK HAS BEEN IN THE WORK ELEVATOR? 

2 comments:

  1. Sherry7:40 PM

    Thank you for the laugh! And, again, I <3 your posts!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sherry7:58 PM

    BTW...just tried Googlism....some of mine:
    sherry is not always sweet...of course not, that would make me boringQ
    sherry is a great massage person...why, yes...yes I am
    sherry is a fortified wine that owes its character and finesse to a complex fractional blending system
    sherry is now a "fortified"...yup, with beer though, not wine.
    sherry is almost 4....Nope
    sherry is 5...still nope
    sherry is a 57...wrong again, guess Google doesn't really know me!!
    sherry is mysteriously lifted away and....and what? to where? and why?
    sherry is offering a 25% discount....discount on what?
    sherry is a certified professional demonstrator...I need a man to do that!! LOL

    Finally...Googlism got a couple correct:
    sherry is full bodied...
    and
    sherry is unable to stand for long periods of time meaning that she needs to find a job where she can work sitting down....that's why I'm now retired!!!

    ReplyDelete

Unload your brainpan, but please prove you're not a Russian spam-bot. Or Skynet. I don't want the T1000 after me.