Ok Seriously Yahoo, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING HERE.

What the hell does this mean?

 

 

 

What the FUCK is an American Parasite?
THAT QUESTION IS RHETORICAL PEOPLE.
No snarky political comments here. Really.

Ok, first of all, if you begin this sort of inflammatory email with "Dear Friend" you're already losing credibility.

When I can't actually copy any of the text (because doing so launches a website that asks if I'm ready for the truth. Oh the conundrum!

Fox Mulder would say the truth is out there. Plus, you k now, this whole thing (according to the email) is a government conspiracy to infect 250 million Americans with a dangerous parasite. Of nefarious origins.

OH MY GOD...Could Dr. Crapetta (oh sorry, Dr. Capetta) be Mulder in disguise? Is the parasite some sort of intelligent black goo?

Jack Nicholson would scream that I can't handle the truth.

I'm so torn! I should probably click the link...the email swears the safety of my family hangs in the balance.

If you never hear from me again, call Scully.

PS: There's an address at the bottom of the email. In Dallas, TX...I'm SO tempted to drive up there and knock on the door (which is likely some random teenager's garage).