An Amateur Historian's Linguistic Annoyance

I'm watching a documentary on the Etruscans. Yes I'm a nerd, this is established. I'm irritated with the historian/archaeology presenters.

First, a thirty-second background on Etruscans because I usually assume I'm the only ancient history weirdo in the room. Please ignore the next two paragraphs if you're already all well-versed in Etruscan history, or medium-versed, or even know the name...in fact, feel free to comment with corrections if I've gotten any details wrong.

Etruscans were the big-time civilization in Italy prior to Rome. They were extremely wealthy, extremely cosmopolitan, and it appears they were extremely egalitarian when it came to men and women. Greeks didn't like Etruscan women because they ate with their husbands (GASP...like equals, like a date where the dude actually wanted to spend time with his wife and hear what she had to say? What the fuck, Etruria?), they read, wrote, rode horses, they had their own names (OMFG, they weren't just named after their daddy-owners like Roman women, waiting to be passed off to their husband-owners?), they were treated as equals in parenting (as seen in funerary monuments identifying the dead as "son of" or "daughter of" BOTH parents' names), and they had the gall to be both athletic and sexual.

Etruria (now Tuscany) was eventually conquered by Rome and much of their art/customs were assimilated into Roman society...the ones they found useful, anyway. Similarly, Etruscan families were eventually assimilated into Roman society. The loss of female standing and cycle back to male-dominated society when the Etruscans were all Borg'd into Rome isn't what makes me irked. Over thousands of years and the rise and fall of tribes and civilizations there seems to be cycles of one sex dominating the other with periods of equality popping up here and there. That equality is never perfect and always relative to the surrounding nations, just as it is today.

All of these tidbits are presented in the documentary by historians and archaeologists who've studied and made assumptions/conclusions/maybe guesses about Etruscan society as a whole based on the evidence at hand.

This is not what irritates me about the otherwise awesomely fascinating documentary.

It's annoying as hell to talk about women's rights as GIVEN TO THEM by the men of the society. When a PhD or respected historian uses phrases like "Etruscan women were ALLOWED more freedom than Greek or Roman women" (emphasis is mine) the base assumption is that women don't and didn't have that power to begin with. If there is little evidence other than the facts archaeology and surrounding literature provides (reading, writing, eating, names, etc) why must the scholars make the sexist assumption that women were GIVEN these things?

Maybe they set up their society that way from the beginning. Maybe that society valued both men and women as (again, gasp) people. Maybe women allowed men the power they had.

My point is, there's no way to know, and these sorts of ingrained assumptions are really terrible in innocuous ways. It's easy to take away rights from someone if you are brought around to sincere believe that you GIFTED them those rights from the beginning, not that they inherently have rights to respect, earning and keeping their own stuff, their very personhood. Why is it so damn hard to think that people thousands of years ago might have actually valued all citizens* in their society and built their customs and laws to reflect that value?

I sincerely wish more scholars would take a step back and consider their words and basic biases before presenting conclusions. After all, science (yay science!) has now proven some of those male Viking warrior burials were actually female: undeniably female skeletons with war wounds, buried with war grave goods, assumed to be male only because the evidence said "warrior". Assuming more egalitarian ancient societies were only more equal because the males in charge "allowed" the women freedom and rights is a disservice to that society as a whole. It's important to examine and discard biases and just present the damn facts: women had more power in Etruscan society than Greek or Roman women had. Period.

Perpetuating historical sexism when it actually isn't proven only perpetuates modern day sexism.

*Yes, Etruscans kept slaves, just as many ancient cultures did. Slavery is a different treatise altogether, because if I am for agency and personhood I am for it in every case, which means slavery is both a related and different topic to feminism in historical accounts. Ultimately, just like many other cultures, I think they sucked for keeping slaves. THIS post, however, is about how historians can easily STILL say women were "GIVEN" their basic rights by the men, even when science hasn't provided proof either way.

Ok Seriously Yahoo, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE OFFERING HERE.

What the hell does this mean?

 

 

 

What the FUCK is an American Parasite?
THAT QUESTION IS RHETORICAL PEOPLE.
No snarky political comments here. Really.

Ok, first of all, if you begin this sort of inflammatory email with "Dear Friend" you're already losing credibility.

When I can't actually copy any of the text (because doing so launches a website that asks if I'm ready for the truth. Oh the conundrum!

Fox Mulder would say the truth is out there. Plus, you k now, this whole thing (according to the email) is a government conspiracy to infect 250 million Americans with a dangerous parasite. Of nefarious origins.

OH MY GOD...Could Dr. Crapetta (oh sorry, Dr. Capetta) be Mulder in disguise? Is the parasite some sort of intelligent black goo?

Jack Nicholson would scream that I can't handle the truth.

I'm so torn! I should probably click the link...the email swears the safety of my family hangs in the balance.

If you never hear from me again, call Scully.

PS: There's an address at the bottom of the email. In Dallas, TX...I'm SO tempted to drive up there and knock on the door (which is likely some random teenager's garage).

Mythic Monday: Minotaur

Tonight's post is brought to you by request of a certain super awesome security dude/friend/geek extraordinaire.

We're going back to Greek mythology tonight for one of the most iconic monsters ever. The Minotaur. I love this myth, because it's full of tragedy, horror, evil, physically improbable impregnation, and ultimately I can't help but root for the Monster every time.

The Minotaur myth originates specifically in Crete (Krete). Let's go over the quick (NON-Ovid version) of how he came to be.

As usual, it begins with pissing off the Gods. Now there are two ancient versions I've found of the Minotaur's birth. In the later version (Roman), Queen Pasiphae, daughter of Helios (the Sun) and wife of King Minos of Krete had gotten...hmm...somewhat lax in her offerings to Venus (that'd be Aphrodite in English-translated Greek). Venus's revenge was to curse Pasiphae with an unnatural lust for the prize bull Minos received from Poseidon. She convinced Daedalus to fashion a hollow wooden cow and, well, yeah. The physics of that whole scene is sort of astounding, but there you go. She ends up pregnant by a God's prize bull and gives birth to Asterion, a human boy with the face of a bull. Minos banishes the boy to the center of the Labyrinth built under Crete to live his life as a monster. s

In most older versions, King Minos is given a gorgeous prize bull by Poseidon to sacrifice, but he keeps the bull instead of properly sacrificing it. This royally ticks off Poseidon, and in vengeance he makes Pasiphae lust for the bull. The rest of the story of Asterion's birth is pretty similar. If you bother to read the Ovid version suddenly Pasiphae is an adulteress and a whore. I'm sure you can tell by now that I'm not a fan of Ovid.

Years later, when another of Minos's sons is killed in Athens, Minos calls down a plague on the Athenian people (or, wages war and wins, depending on the story). The only way to restore peace is an annual sacrifice of seven Athenian boys and seven girls to the Labyrinth. For the Minotaur (Minos's Bull) to eat. Yes, Theseus is next...getting to that.

The pity factor I have for this creature is pretty damn high. Asterion, a prince of one of the most powerful Cities in the Aegean, grew up alone in the dark, lost his name and was used as a threat and a monster by his own father, condemned by his mother. Forced to eat people. NEVER allowed to live as a human being, even though he was one in every way except his head. In a few versions of the tale his sister Ariadne visits him, providing his only loving relationship ever.

Until, of course, Theseus shows up. Theseus, the Athenian Hero determined to stop the tribute requirement, volunteers as tribute. Yes, Katniss style. Ariadne falls in love with him when he arrives on Krete...Ariadne, the Princess of Krete. She convinces Daedalus to tell her the secrets of the Labyrinth and gives Theseus a ball of twine/string to find his way back out. In those versions where she's visited Asterion before, she just tells Theseus. Either way, her love for Theseus prompts her to betray her brother, knowing Theseus will kill Asterion. Considering Asterion's fate so far, it's not necessarily an unkind thing.

And he does. There are innumerable depictions of the fight between The Minotaur and Theseus. After he kills the creature and escaping the Labyrinth, he takes Ariadne and the remaining Athenian teens back to Athens.

The symbolism of the story is greater than the typical Hero story for Athens, though. Labyrinths were all over the ancient world for a time, and were considered mysteries of knowledge. The Minotaur, at the center of the mystery, guarded the knowledge found within. (It's worth noting that I mean mystery in the spiritual epiphany/secret ritual way, not the beach novel way.) Theseus conquering the Minotaur and emerging alive is a rite of passage (recall he becomes King later) of his power, knowledge, and cunning. With this act, he's proven he can be King. In addition, Theseus can make a case for being favored by the Gods. King Minos took a gift from a God and not only wasted it, he sullied and corrupted a place of knowledge and power with taboo horrors. Theseus restored the Crete Labyrinth by destroying the monster inside, earning him favor with the Gods.

Ultimately, this tale is always told as the Theseus Hero story, focusing on his bravery and cunning in overcoming the cannibalistic beast controlled by a despot. But as always, I prefer to consider the whole tale from Asterion's point of view. A creature cursed through no fault of his own to live one of the most horrid existences possible...wouldn't he welcome death when it came for him? Interestingly, the name Asterion means "the starry one." While he's not actually associated with the constellation story of Taurus, it's a curious connection. 

It's a Stephen King Story...In Reverse

According to multiple news sources, a ghost ship full of rats is headed to shore.

The Pied Piper is apparently returning his spoils. From Canada.

I have nothing else to say about this except even if you're one of those people who have rats as pets, being overrun by ten bazillion small creatures of any type is pretty horrifying to imagine. Particularly since, being a Medieval and Ancient history nut like I am, I KNOW what rats were used for (and what they brought along on ships...well, hello there Black Death).

I declare today Monster Monday in honor of the Ghost Rat Ship.

I adore monster and paranormal horror (slasher movies like Texas Chainsaw, Freddy and Jason, etc bore the shit out of me. The "let's see how much blood/guts we can spray on film" and "all victims do the SAME STUPID SHIT" stuff is really old.

I saw Tremors when I was 9, only I didn't see the WHOLE movie. Meaning, I didn't see the monsters die at the end (um, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen a 25 year old giant people-eating-desert-worm monster movie).  I MUST see the creature die at the end, otherwise there are nightmares. I lived on a 40 acre farm in Northern Minnesota...no worms in sight. But I still ran my ass off from the house to the barn every time I went outside for a good month that summer (OBVIOUSLY the cement floor in the barn would protect me from any giant tentacle-mouthed-worm-monsters!).

I also still freak out in over-my-head water (oceans or lakes) because I have NO IDEA what might be eyeing up my plump, pasty legs as a potential snack. Sharks, crocs, giant eels, Cthulhu, Megaladon...they don't keep me out of the water, but I definitely have moments of "oh shit I'm too far from shore and could NEVER out-swim a shark!" panic. Because I'm silly.

What monster most terrifies you?

Monster Monday: Man-Eating Snakes

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090204/ap_on_sc/sci_monster_snake

What is it about snakes that scare the bejesus out of most people? There some deep-seated horror in the subconscious that spawns horror movies like Anaconda. Every few months an email goes around the internet with those pictures of a man's legs and lower torso sticking out of the burst belly of a giant snake. Rumors and urban legends about people-swallowing snakes are so popular even the new Discovery channel show Monsterquest covered it, sending investigative teams to the Everglades and the Amazon to look for uber-snakes.

For me, the idea of being swallowed whole is even more horrifying than the idea of being killed by a wild animal. I think it's because ignorance is bliss: I don't have a big sentimental attachment to my body after I die. Donate it to science, bury it, burn it, leave it for the wild animals as nourishment: I won't be using it anymore, and one way or another Nature will take care of recycling it for something else's use. However, I do NOT relish the idea of somebody or something else making use of MY body before I'm done with it. Add to that the speed with which constrictors eat their prey, the "eww" factor of saliva and presumed crushed bones, and the prospect of being swallowed alive and whole is just not a good way to go.

So, is this some throwback to our cave-man memories in the lizard part of our brain, some deep subconscious memory of the fear our ancestors felt while walking the jungles and grasslands? Is it memory from even before Homo-Erectus...maybe a fear from the evolutionary brain dating back to our primate days? Or, is it because we HAVE had to contend with monster snakes that could swallow a human being, a cow, a horse, with no difficulty?

This article just serves as a reminder to skeptics out there: just because we don't see evidence of a monster in plain sight doesn't mean it never existed. The world was about 10 degrees warmer year round when this snake lived. Now THAT's enough to make a girl worry about global warming...