Monday, January 27, 2014

It's a Stephen King Story...In Reverse

According to multiple news sources, a ghost ship full of rats is headed to shore.

The Pied Piper is apparently returning his spoils. From Canada.

I have nothing else to say about this except even if you're one of those people who have rats as pets, being overrun by ten bazillion small creatures of any type is pretty horrifying to imagine. Particularly since, being a Medieval and Ancient history nut like I am, I KNOW what rats were used for (and what they brought along on ships...well, hello there Black Death).

I declare today Monster Monday in honor of the Ghost Rat Ship.

I adore monster and paranormal horror (slasher movies like Texas Chainsaw, Freddy and Jason, etc bore the shit out of me. The "let's see how much blood/guts we can spray on film" and "all victims do the SAME STUPID SHIT" stuff is really old.

I saw Tremors when I was 9, only I didn't see the WHOLE movie. Meaning, I didn't see the monsters die at the end (um, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen a 25 year old giant people-eating-desert-worm monster movie).  I MUST see the creature die at the end, otherwise there are nightmares. I lived on a 40 acre farm in Northern Minnesota...no worms in sight. But I still ran my ass off from the house to the barn every time I went outside for a good month that summer (OBVIOUSLY the cement floor in the barn would protect me from any giant tentacle-mouthed-worm-monsters!).

I also still freak out in over-my-head water (oceans or lakes) because I have NO IDEA what might be eyeing up my plump, pasty legs as a potential snack. Sharks, crocs, giant eels, Cthulhu, Megaladon...they don't keep me out of the water, but I definitely have moments of "oh shit I'm too far from shore and could NEVER out-swim a shark!" panic. Because I'm silly.

What monster most terrifies you?

7 comments:

  1. First, Cthulhu is totally watch all the pasty legs, thinking long, lethargic thoughts about how he will eventually rise and devour them all. You're right to stay near the shore.

    Second. That rat story is both awesomely funny and terribly disturbing.

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    1. Isn't it? Oh yeah, I have visions of Cthulhu and Megaladon (and maybe DinoCroc) coming after me. Especially when we visit certain beaches in FL where all the bullshark attacks happen.

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    2. In response to the rat ship story, a friend sent me this:

      http://www.scaryforkids.com/three-skeleton-key-free-horror-story/

      "Three Skeleton Key by George G. Toudouze is a classic story of terror about three men who are in a lighthouse when it is attached by a horde of ravenous rats."

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  2. There is so much good in this post. First, I am a huge (weird) shark fan -- you mentioning Megladon makes me smile. I hope you are never eaten by one.

    Rat Ghost ship? It does sound alluring, as I like horror/mystery... but why was it deserted? It does sound scary, maybe it should meet its watery grave. Thanks a lot, Canada. First the Polar Vortex, then Bieber, now rat ghost ship. Our neighbors to the north are looking less friendly.

    Also, I'm scared of serial killers. I love Halloween and creepy stuff, but I don't believe in ghosts. Or supernatural stuff. I DO fear people who do and think it's their job to hunt down people. So, serial killers. And snakes, they terrify me.

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    1. Holy crap, it didn't even occur to me that all three Portents of the Apocalypse (Bieber, Polar Vortex, Rat Ship) are all from Canada. Is this in response to the "Blame Canada" song on South Park???

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  3. When I was 17, I went and saw Jaws – and my life was never the same. To this day, I don’t like swimming in places where I can’t see my feet. I also don’t like swimming alone – PERIOD – not even in a swimming pool. My warped thought is that if someone else is swimming with me, THEY have just as much chance as ME to be eaten – and the odds are even better for me if there is a crowd. “Kids! Come swimming with me!” Yeah – it’s like that.

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  4. I absolutely hate when shit jumps out, movies and in real life.

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Unload your brainpan, but please prove you're not a Russian spam-bot. Or Skynet. I don't want the T1000 after me.