I'm watching a documentary on the Etruscans. Yes I'm a nerd, this is established. I'm irritated with the historian/archaeology presenters.
First, a thirty-second background on Etruscans because I usually assume I'm the only ancient history weirdo in the room. Please ignore the next two paragraphs if you're already all well-versed in Etruscan history, or medium-versed, or even know the name...in fact, feel free to comment with corrections if I've gotten any details wrong.
Etruscans were the big-time civilization in Italy prior to Rome. They were extremely wealthy, extremely cosmopolitan, and it appears they were extremely egalitarian when it came to men and women. Greeks didn't like Etruscan women because they ate with their husbands (GASP...like equals, like a date where the dude actually wanted to spend time with his wife and hear what she had to say? What the fuck, Etruria?), they read, wrote, rode horses, they had their own names (OMFG, they weren't just named after their daddy-owners like Roman women, waiting to be passed off to their husband-owners?), they were treated as equals in parenting (as seen in funerary monuments identifying the dead as "son of" or "daughter of" BOTH parents' names), and they had the gall to be both athletic and sexual.
Etruria (now Tuscany) was eventually conquered by Rome and much of their art/customs were assimilated into Roman society...the ones they found useful, anyway. Similarly, Etruscan families were eventually assimilated into Roman society. The loss of female standing and cycle back to male-dominated society when the Etruscans were all Borg'd into Rome isn't what makes me irked. Over thousands of years and the rise and fall of tribes and civilizations there seems to be cycles of one sex dominating the other with periods of equality popping up here and there. That equality is never perfect and always relative to the surrounding nations, just as it is today.
All of these tidbits are presented in the documentary by historians and archaeologists who've studied and made assumptions/conclusions/maybe guesses about Etruscan society as a whole based on the evidence at hand.
This is not what irritates me about the otherwise awesomely fascinating documentary.
It's annoying as hell to talk about women's rights as GIVEN TO THEM by the men of the society. When a PhD or respected historian uses phrases like "Etruscan women were ALLOWED more freedom than Greek or Roman women" (emphasis is mine) the base assumption is that women don't and didn't have that power to begin with. If there is little evidence other than the facts archaeology and surrounding literature provides (reading, writing, eating, names, etc) why must the scholars make the sexist assumption that women were GIVEN these things?
Maybe they set up their society that way from the beginning. Maybe that society valued both men and women as (again, gasp) people. Maybe women allowed men the power they had.
My point is, there's no way to know, and these sorts of ingrained assumptions are really terrible in innocuous ways. It's easy to take away rights from someone if you are brought around to sincere believe that you GIFTED them those rights from the beginning, not that they inherently have rights to respect, earning and keeping their own stuff, their very personhood. Why is it so damn hard to think that people thousands of years ago might have actually valued all citizens* in their society and built their customs and laws to reflect that value?
I sincerely wish more scholars would take a step back and consider their words and basic biases before presenting conclusions. After all, science (yay science!) has now proven some of those male Viking warrior burials were actually female: undeniably female skeletons with war wounds, buried with war grave goods, assumed to be male only because the evidence said "warrior". Assuming more egalitarian ancient societies were only more equal because the males in charge "allowed" the women freedom and rights is a disservice to that society as a whole. It's important to examine and discard biases and just present the damn facts: women had more power in Etruscan society than Greek or Roman women had. Period.
Perpetuating historical sexism when it actually isn't proven only perpetuates modern day sexism.
*Yes, Etruscans kept slaves, just as many ancient cultures did. Slavery is a different treatise altogether, because if I am for agency and personhood I am for it in every case, which means slavery is both a related and different topic to feminism in historical accounts. Ultimately, just like many other cultures, I think they sucked for keeping slaves. THIS post, however, is about how historians can easily STILL say women were "GIVEN" their basic rights by the men, even when science hasn't provided proof either way.
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Monday, June 10, 2019
Thursday, May 16, 2019
The Light Isn't Dead.
I'm a dark person.
I am. I cover it with humor and smartass pithy comments, but it's often hard for me to see the light in the world. The kindness. The compassion. The good.
I live in one of the most progressive states in what used to be one of the more progressive countries on the planet. In the last month I've watched rights for women whittled away state by state as fascists and religious extremists take more and more control of the country I live in, as evil people attempt to control women's sexuality and freedom under the guise of their belief.
For the past few years I've watched evil people attempt to eradicate anyone brown, or black, or red, or poor (any heritage other than their own pasty, wealthy WASPs, really) by any means possible.
As if this country wasn't built on the backs of anyone NOT WASPy. As if they have some right to absolute rule, an unspoken tyrant oligarchy with a despot king at the helm, and willful ignorance celebrates it all. Current leadership here has emboldened hate.
Yep, I'm pulling out the evil card, because that level of selfishness and disregard for other humans in favor of money and power is an infection that spreads like a damn virus of hate, and I find perpetuating hate pretty fucking evil. Detention camps in which the very children they insist they're saving with anti-woman reproductive care bills die, hateful rhetoric, dehumanizing speeches comparing human beings to animals and insects, Neo-Nazi marches, refusing sanctuary to war refugees...anything they can think of that stays under the international criminal court's radar.
It's exhausting and depressing. The weight of watching this happen and feeling so utterly helpless to create any real change can get utterly overwhelming. I mean, I understand and agree with the quote "all evil needs to triumph is for good men to do nothing" (as an aside, the etymology of that phrase is amazing, and worth looking up), but what does that mean in a practical sense? What can one person do against a mob? What possible difference can I make, or am I just stuck watching this happen, wringing my hands and standing by (or in this case, writing by)?
The historian in me recognizes this dystopian, awful period is a relatively predictable societal swing that will come back eventually, but that's neither comforting nor helpful. The swing away from respecting people as fellow human beings, as equals who can and should run their own lives, is horrifying. It's not too surprising:humans throughout history have consistently been horrifying to each other. We haven't learned much in our thousands of years on this spaceball about how to treat our own species. But we've also been incredibly, inspiringly, kind to each other. The dichotomy of humanity is full of extremes, and we are living through a period that could get so unimaginably worse, but it could also be turned.
There is still light.
There is always still light to be found, if you look for it. It's possible for a time we'll need to celebrate small victories to encourage compassion and kindness. I am a dark person. I have to sometimes look very hard for the light when things seem extra terrible to me, a state I can be in by the nasty tricks of depression in my mind just as much as news and social media. So here are some examples of light I found today just while writing this post over lunch.
There are things in this world worth fighting for, but right now it may take a little work to find a way to see the slivers of light that are meaningful to you, and stand up for them. "Be the change you want to see in the world" isn't a silly cliche: we are responsible for our reactions to the universe and creating/maintaining our environment. No one person can be responsible for fixing the whole of their world, but we can be in charge of the way we help: that means cleaning up where we can. Stand up for humanity. Stand up for your environment, for your universe, even in the smallest ways, because that shit adds up and is seen. Stand up for love: no matter what religion you claim to participate in, they all emphasize loving and respecting other humans, even those who are different from you.
And when the world seems to have forgotten that, be the light by remembering and demonstrating it.
When I can't see the light for myself, I can sure as hell hope someone else can see it through my actions. There is light to counter the darkness: you can find it.
If you can't find it, you can MAKE it.
There is still good. There is still hope. We are still here.
I am. I cover it with humor and smartass pithy comments, but it's often hard for me to see the light in the world. The kindness. The compassion. The good.
I live in one of the most progressive states in what used to be one of the more progressive countries on the planet. In the last month I've watched rights for women whittled away state by state as fascists and religious extremists take more and more control of the country I live in, as evil people attempt to control women's sexuality and freedom under the guise of their belief.
For the past few years I've watched evil people attempt to eradicate anyone brown, or black, or red, or poor (any heritage other than their own pasty, wealthy WASPs, really) by any means possible.
As if this country wasn't built on the backs of anyone NOT WASPy. As if they have some right to absolute rule, an unspoken tyrant oligarchy with a despot king at the helm, and willful ignorance celebrates it all. Current leadership here has emboldened hate.
Yep, I'm pulling out the evil card, because that level of selfishness and disregard for other humans in favor of money and power is an infection that spreads like a damn virus of hate, and I find perpetuating hate pretty fucking evil. Detention camps in which the very children they insist they're saving with anti-woman reproductive care bills die, hateful rhetoric, dehumanizing speeches comparing human beings to animals and insects, Neo-Nazi marches, refusing sanctuary to war refugees...anything they can think of that stays under the international criminal court's radar.
It's exhausting and depressing. The weight of watching this happen and feeling so utterly helpless to create any real change can get utterly overwhelming. I mean, I understand and agree with the quote "all evil needs to triumph is for good men to do nothing" (as an aside, the etymology of that phrase is amazing, and worth looking up), but what does that mean in a practical sense? What can one person do against a mob? What possible difference can I make, or am I just stuck watching this happen, wringing my hands and standing by (or in this case, writing by)?
The historian in me recognizes this dystopian, awful period is a relatively predictable societal swing that will come back eventually, but that's neither comforting nor helpful. The swing away from respecting people as fellow human beings, as equals who can and should run their own lives, is horrifying. It's not too surprising:humans throughout history have consistently been horrifying to each other. We haven't learned much in our thousands of years on this spaceball about how to treat our own species. But we've also been incredibly, inspiringly, kind to each other. The dichotomy of humanity is full of extremes, and we are living through a period that could get so unimaginably worse, but it could also be turned.
There is still light.
There is always still light to be found, if you look for it. It's possible for a time we'll need to celebrate small victories to encourage compassion and kindness. I am a dark person. I have to sometimes look very hard for the light when things seem extra terrible to me, a state I can be in by the nasty tricks of depression in my mind just as much as news and social media. So here are some examples of light I found today just while writing this post over lunch.
- Dr. Jen Gunter standing up unfailingly and unwaveringly for proper OBGYN care, and furiously, tenaciously correcting the lies spread about women and women's bodies.
- Men and women publicly standing up together to say enough: publicly discussing things that were hidden in shadows for ages, advocating for POC and for refugee and immigrant rights.
- Spring arriving in Minnesota after a horridly cold winter, as Nature wakes up and comforts with warm sun and fresh breezes. It is a season of hope and possibility, of new growth and increasing light here, and that does help.
- My nephew sharing hugs with his sister and brothers because he's the most empathetic little boy I've ever met, and I adore him for having such consideration for others at six years old when so many in middle age have none.
- I've seen Mr. Rogers' "Look for the helpers in an emergency" quote a lot lately, which tells me others are also looking for some good to hold onto. That means no matter how alone we might feel, we are NOT.
There are things in this world worth fighting for, but right now it may take a little work to find a way to see the slivers of light that are meaningful to you, and stand up for them. "Be the change you want to see in the world" isn't a silly cliche: we are responsible for our reactions to the universe and creating/maintaining our environment. No one person can be responsible for fixing the whole of their world, but we can be in charge of the way we help: that means cleaning up where we can. Stand up for humanity. Stand up for your environment, for your universe, even in the smallest ways, because that shit adds up and is seen. Stand up for love: no matter what religion you claim to participate in, they all emphasize loving and respecting other humans, even those who are different from you.
And when the world seems to have forgotten that, be the light by remembering and demonstrating it.
When I can't see the light for myself, I can sure as hell hope someone else can see it through my actions. There is light to counter the darkness: you can find it.
If you can't find it, you can MAKE it.
There is still good. There is still hope. We are still here.
Friday, June 26, 2015
The Time Feminism Forces Me to Defend a...Palin
So today my Facebook feed and news outlets have two rivaling headlines.
First and most importantly, SCOTUS has effectively shut down all those idiots terrified that Mark and Steve's marriage, or Jane and Sally's, will somehow threaten their own heterosexual homes. And to the national endorsement of equality for people who want to marry, I say YAY it's about fucking time.
Second, and somewhat more disturbing to me, is the news that Bristol Palin is knocked up again outside marriage. It's not that she's pregnant or that she's not married that bothers me: I could not possibly care any LESS about her sex life or the products thereof. It's the really horrifying hypocrisy I'm seeing by "feminists": a sort of disgusting glee in seeing the poster child for abstinence education brought low by her own sexuality.
REALLY PEOPLE?
Let's set aside for a moment the pure nasty and gross behavior involved in smugly shaming a public figure for something that some consider a mistake (I say some because hello, not everyone considers pregnancy a mistake in or out of a legally bound relationship).
Let me also be clear that I find Sarah Palin utterly disgusting for her politics, and I think abstinence education one of the worst disservices conservative politicians have forced upon teens. Those are both entirely different posts.
I pretty firmly believe if you call yourself feminist you don't get to judge another woman's sexuality, PERIOD.
That means no slut shaming. EVER.
That means no side-eye about women who have multiple partners, women who have children on their own, women who are completely asexual, women who are in a traditional marriage, women who buy toys, women who take birth control, women who ARE IN CHARGE OF THEIR OWN SEX ORGANS.
No subtle or overt blaming the victim of a sexual crime (she was drunk/smoking pot/on X/dressed like a whore) because deep down you're relieved that it didn't happen to you.
No moral high-horse "we must SAVE them" attitude about anyone who voluntarily uses their body for money: that includes any sort of modeling, escorts, prostitution, dancing of any kind, porn, etc. (obviously, this point is barring underage or forced/trafficking crimes: I said voluntarily on purpose).
And no snarky smug "she got what she deserved" judging of an adult woman in her mid-20's who gets pregnant outside marriage. Ugh.
First, by all accounts I've been able to find, Bristol Palin was paid to do abstinence speaking from the perspective of having been a teen-mom. I don't agree with the abstinence only message in any way, but I can certainly see how that message might be something a 17 year old who'd gotten pregnant by mistake would be willing to speak about. I may not like her choice in message, but I appreciate her willingness to WORK in some way, and I don't judge her choice in which to do so.
Second, this is not a teenager. Yes, she publicly took an "abstinence pledge" in 2009 and really, it's none of my business whether she stuck to it or not before this. Honestly, I don't care: her bedroom is her business, and she's certainly not the first conservative politician/minister/"moral" public figure to be "caught" living a different life in private than she does publicly. But hey, I know I haven't grown with experience since I was a teen: have you? In fact, I think if you polled a handful of people on the street most would assume a 24 year old woman is sexually active in this day and age: it's not that fucking weird that birth control failed and she got pregnant again. It's pretty likely that because of the pledge she took her abstinence only speaking engagements are over, so isn't that sort of a self-fulfilling unemployment arena?
I guess I just don't really see any benefit (to me or anyone else) in jumping on a bandwagon of "neener neener you aren't perfect" nastiness just because I don't agree with her politics.
Third, for those conservatives who insist that a woman's sex organs MUST be owned by a man through marriage contract before creating life, SHE WAS FUCKING ENGAGED, for Gods' sake. Other than the really uber-conservative sects, does anyone really expect an engaged couple to be abstinent?
As an aside, boy you babies-in-marriage-only types really are going to have issues if male ownership of uterii is the only proper way to have a family, because I'm pretty sure SCOTUS just tossed that shit right out the window...now that it's finally legal for two uterii or two penii to be married without the opposite sex involved at all. And that's just awesome.
What's horrifying about being caught here is the same people who rail against conservative/abstinence education are the ones crowing about the public shaming of a woman's sex life and her "fall from grace." Um, sorry, but sex and pregnancy don't equal a fall from grace: they pretty much just equal an addition to her family and most likely a career change in her case. So what? At what point do we as a society stop judging mothers by the circumstances of their pregnancy like we have any right to moralize their bodies and choices?
For the record, I'm thoroughly grossed out that I'm in a position to defend a Palin, but I don't live her life, and I refuse to judge any woman's sexual choices. I suppose as a thought experiment it's good to test the boundaries of my insistence on non-judgement, but ultimately this whole news blitz and social media ishiness just put a bad taste in my mouth.
On a Friday.
I'm not impressed.
Saturday, September 06, 2014
Scully Explains Feminism in the BEST WAY.
I've been watching Netflix streamed crime shows lately, particularly ones from other countries. Oddly enough, it was in a serial killer show with Gillian Anderson (SCULLY!!) and Jaime Dornden (Once Upon a Time, 50 Shades) that has boiled down the best description of everyday sexism I've ever seen.
Gillian Anderson, a special police investigator, is being questioned by her boss (a man) for her (completely consensual) one night stand with another cop. She responds thusly:
Gillian Anderson, a special police investigator, is being questioned by her boss (a man) for her (completely consensual) one night stand with another cop. She responds thusly:
"'Man fucks woman.'
Man: subject.
Fucks: verb.
Woman: OBJECT.
You don't have a problem with that: that's acceptable behavior.
'Woman fucks man.'
Woman: subject.
Man: OBJECT.
You have a problem with that.
It's YOUR problem."
Thursday, June 05, 2014
Entertaining Empathy For a Change
I have a funny post pending for tomorrow. Today is something else I need to discuss. Today I am not funny. I read a lot of online news and such (it's slow at work right now), and the past few days I've been pretty disgusted.
Do you know there was a fatal car crash in Houston today? A woman with two small boys, ages 4 and 6, hit a tree. She was killed, her boys were injured. While waiting for help to arrive, bystanders saw people STEALING THE GROCERIES FROM THE FRONT SEAT OF HER CAR. With a dead woman and injured children still in the car. I'm horrified at the thieves AND at the bystanders.
In Dallas yesterday, a car hit the median and flipped over. By the time the police arrived, they could do nothing but watch the car burn with two people inside and hope to god the passengers were dead already for mercy's sake. The officer who spoke about it was ashen-faced and teary-eyed. Bystanders videotaped the whole incident on their cell phones. No one attempted to help before the car started on fire.
I can't even begin to discuss the #YesAllWomen comments I've seen from both sides. I understand the anger, I empathize with many of the stories relayed through the movement. I'm disgusted by the troll commentary. I've lived similar situations and dealt with the ingrained sexism in our culture. But I also see that common sense is being set aside. I'm a realist who appreciates the idealism of social movements but understands the predators, criminals, and assholes out there will never allow an ideal state to occur. I'm a feminist who believes firmly in equality and respect between the sexes should be the way of the world, but who also knows how to (and regularly DO) adjust my behavior, dress, and attentiveness based on my situation and surroundings. That's not giving in to sexist society: that's consciously taking responsibility for my own safety, which I believe is a necessary outlook for women and men. I've seen too much backlash against men as a gender, which doesn't' allow for any attempt at mutual understanding. To the girl who bitchily tried to force a male ER nurse from his table at lunchtime yesterday, loudly proclaiming his wish to eat his lunch at the table he was at first was sexist and he should move "BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN AND I WANT IT," I wish I'd been there. I would've slapped you across the face, you entitled idiot. Women like you are just as sexist as the sexism you protest, and you aren't helping equality at fucking all.
Do you know what the #YesAllWomen movement has in common with the current uproar about the US trading Gitmo prisoners for a POW who may or may not have been a deserter? I assure you, there IS a commonality here.
COMPASSION. EMPATHY. SYMPATHY. RESPECT. Specifically, the utter LACK of compassion, empathy or sympathy displayed by individual and the "mob" right now.
This is more than a common courtesy issue: this is a significant public inability or refusal to bother thinking, even for a single instant, how the person being attacked might feel.
Yes, that absolutely applies to both #YesAllWomen and the backlash against it. It also applies to the fight women face in places like Afghanistan and India where the threat of attack, rape, and death is a very real and constant thing. It applies in places like Saudi Arabia where women are legally considered children. It applies in the Sudan where men and women can be killed for being the wrong religion. It applies in Uganda where a gay couple can be murdered legally for who they love. Anytime a society sees a group of people as sub-human, property, or less-than-equal in any way that society gives permission to cruelty. Period.
So what about this POW all over the news? I saw today President Obama will not apologize for bringing him home. Good. He shouldn't. He did the right thing. I don't give a hoot whether you voted for President Obama or not: the man enforced a basic Military value, a basic American value even, in bringing home a soldier languishing for FIVE YEARS in terrorist custody.
And yet, that man's hometown has been attacked by an incensed mob for planning a welcome-home party. A welcome home party the town has held annually since the Sergeant was captured as a "bring him home" party, which is now cancelled. That man's parents have been attacked in the media, called terrorist sympathizers, called traitors and worse. Why? Because the dad said he wouldn't shave his beard until his son was home. Because his dad tried through Twitter to get the Taliban to release his son. Because they loved their son, who was held against his will by deadly people in a situation that could result in long-term torture or his death. What parent wouldn't fight to get their kid back?
I don't give a flying fuck whether that kid was attempting to desert or just out for a pee when he got captured. I don't know how he was captured. I don't know what was going on in his unit or during his tour. Experts are currently battling it out publicly whether he "deserved" to come home and if he's responsible for other soldiers' deaths. That's a military matter for the military court to determine: NOT the court of armchair quarterbacks squawking over each other for ratings and political clout. It's really so disheartening and disgusting. I didn't live through five years of captivity by the enemy. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WENT THROUGH. Ultimately, the media is so intent on demonizing this man and his family they've utterly lost the point of the whole situation. Criminal or not, he belongs in his home country, even if that's for review of his former actions. It's up to his military to determine wrongdoing and mete out punishment or not: that has no bearing on whether a US soldier should be left to rot in a POW prison. Period.
And you know what, Fox News Media people and other trolls? It's ok to let those parents celebrate the fact that their son is alive and back on US soil. It's ok for them to be happy his ordeal at the hands of the enemy is over. It's ok for them to celebrate their son is alive. And if it's discovered later that he should serve time for desertion or anything else, at least he's back in the US.
I firmly believe if you want to follow the "be the change you want to see in the world" you are responsible for fostering the improvements. Call it paying something forward. Call it protecting someone from bullying, or calling out someone (respectfully) on their shitty behavior when it happens and saying that's not acceptable. I'm a huge introvert. I avoid people often and generally prefer not to be bothered. If I'm able to think about what it might be like in someone else's shoes and have basic respect for people as human beings, it's not that goddamned difficult.
Will it backfire on you sometimes? Absofuckinglutely. Does that matter? Not even a little bit. What if that one moment of kindness stops someone from killing themselves that day? What if it stops a kid from feeling alone and rejected?
Will kindness and compassion stop homicidal rampages, or rapes, or child killers or molestations? No. As a realist, of course I know it won't. There will always be evil and suffering in the world: nature is balance, and that means there's good AND bad out there. But ineffectual mob attacks, online and in-person bullying, unharnessed lashing-out anger, and selfish indifference to those around you only perpetuates the bad, and that is creating negative change in your surroundings.
Nothing improves a relationship, a community, any group of people faster than kindness and respect. Period.
I challenge you to do a single act of kindness for someone today. I don't care if it's buying the person's coffee behind you in the Starbucks drive through or mowing a neighbor's lawn. I don't care if it's reaching out to a friend to say hello and that you miss them. I don't care if it's cleaning the house so your spouse or parent doesn't have to. Small acts of kindness add up and are easily repeated. If we're going to spread an emotion like a virus the way trolls and media spread nastiness, make it an effort to spread compassion and respect.
Compassion. Empathy. Sympathy. All definitions from www.dictionary.com.
m-pash-uhn]
Do you know there was a fatal car crash in Houston today? A woman with two small boys, ages 4 and 6, hit a tree. She was killed, her boys were injured. While waiting for help to arrive, bystanders saw people STEALING THE GROCERIES FROM THE FRONT SEAT OF HER CAR. With a dead woman and injured children still in the car. I'm horrified at the thieves AND at the bystanders.
In Dallas yesterday, a car hit the median and flipped over. By the time the police arrived, they could do nothing but watch the car burn with two people inside and hope to god the passengers were dead already for mercy's sake. The officer who spoke about it was ashen-faced and teary-eyed. Bystanders videotaped the whole incident on their cell phones. No one attempted to help before the car started on fire.
I can't even begin to discuss the #YesAllWomen comments I've seen from both sides. I understand the anger, I empathize with many of the stories relayed through the movement. I'm disgusted by the troll commentary. I've lived similar situations and dealt with the ingrained sexism in our culture. But I also see that common sense is being set aside. I'm a realist who appreciates the idealism of social movements but understands the predators, criminals, and assholes out there will never allow an ideal state to occur. I'm a feminist who believes firmly in equality and respect between the sexes should be the way of the world, but who also knows how to (and regularly DO) adjust my behavior, dress, and attentiveness based on my situation and surroundings. That's not giving in to sexist society: that's consciously taking responsibility for my own safety, which I believe is a necessary outlook for women and men. I've seen too much backlash against men as a gender, which doesn't' allow for any attempt at mutual understanding. To the girl who bitchily tried to force a male ER nurse from his table at lunchtime yesterday, loudly proclaiming his wish to eat his lunch at the table he was at first was sexist and he should move "BECAUSE I'M A WOMAN AND I WANT IT," I wish I'd been there. I would've slapped you across the face, you entitled idiot. Women like you are just as sexist as the sexism you protest, and you aren't helping equality at fucking all.
Do you know what the #YesAllWomen movement has in common with the current uproar about the US trading Gitmo prisoners for a POW who may or may not have been a deserter? I assure you, there IS a commonality here.
COMPASSION. EMPATHY. SYMPATHY. RESPECT. Specifically, the utter LACK of compassion, empathy or sympathy displayed by individual and the "mob" right now.
This is more than a common courtesy issue: this is a significant public inability or refusal to bother thinking, even for a single instant, how the person being attacked might feel.
Yes, that absolutely applies to both #YesAllWomen and the backlash against it. It also applies to the fight women face in places like Afghanistan and India where the threat of attack, rape, and death is a very real and constant thing. It applies in places like Saudi Arabia where women are legally considered children. It applies in the Sudan where men and women can be killed for being the wrong religion. It applies in Uganda where a gay couple can be murdered legally for who they love. Anytime a society sees a group of people as sub-human, property, or less-than-equal in any way that society gives permission to cruelty. Period.
So what about this POW all over the news? I saw today President Obama will not apologize for bringing him home. Good. He shouldn't. He did the right thing. I don't give a hoot whether you voted for President Obama or not: the man enforced a basic Military value, a basic American value even, in bringing home a soldier languishing for FIVE YEARS in terrorist custody.
And yet, that man's hometown has been attacked by an incensed mob for planning a welcome-home party. A welcome home party the town has held annually since the Sergeant was captured as a "bring him home" party, which is now cancelled. That man's parents have been attacked in the media, called terrorist sympathizers, called traitors and worse. Why? Because the dad said he wouldn't shave his beard until his son was home. Because his dad tried through Twitter to get the Taliban to release his son. Because they loved their son, who was held against his will by deadly people in a situation that could result in long-term torture or his death. What parent wouldn't fight to get their kid back?
I don't give a flying fuck whether that kid was attempting to desert or just out for a pee when he got captured. I don't know how he was captured. I don't know what was going on in his unit or during his tour. Experts are currently battling it out publicly whether he "deserved" to come home and if he's responsible for other soldiers' deaths. That's a military matter for the military court to determine: NOT the court of armchair quarterbacks squawking over each other for ratings and political clout. It's really so disheartening and disgusting. I didn't live through five years of captivity by the enemy. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WENT THROUGH. Ultimately, the media is so intent on demonizing this man and his family they've utterly lost the point of the whole situation. Criminal or not, he belongs in his home country, even if that's for review of his former actions. It's up to his military to determine wrongdoing and mete out punishment or not: that has no bearing on whether a US soldier should be left to rot in a POW prison. Period.
And you know what, Fox News Media people and other trolls? It's ok to let those parents celebrate the fact that their son is alive and back on US soil. It's ok for them to be happy his ordeal at the hands of the enemy is over. It's ok for them to celebrate their son is alive. And if it's discovered later that he should serve time for desertion or anything else, at least he's back in the US.
I firmly believe if you want to follow the "be the change you want to see in the world" you are responsible for fostering the improvements. Call it paying something forward. Call it protecting someone from bullying, or calling out someone (respectfully) on their shitty behavior when it happens and saying that's not acceptable. I'm a huge introvert. I avoid people often and generally prefer not to be bothered. If I'm able to think about what it might be like in someone else's shoes and have basic respect for people as human beings, it's not that goddamned difficult.
Will it backfire on you sometimes? Absofuckinglutely. Does that matter? Not even a little bit. What if that one moment of kindness stops someone from killing themselves that day? What if it stops a kid from feeling alone and rejected?
Will kindness and compassion stop homicidal rampages, or rapes, or child killers or molestations? No. As a realist, of course I know it won't. There will always be evil and suffering in the world: nature is balance, and that means there's good AND bad out there. But ineffectual mob attacks, online and in-person bullying, unharnessed lashing-out anger, and selfish indifference to those around you only perpetuates the bad, and that is creating negative change in your surroundings.
Nothing improves a relationship, a community, any group of people faster than kindness and respect. Period.
I challenge you to do a single act of kindness for someone today. I don't care if it's buying the person's coffee behind you in the Starbucks drive through or mowing a neighbor's lawn. I don't care if it's reaching out to a friend to say hello and that you miss them. I don't care if it's cleaning the house so your spouse or parent doesn't have to. Small acts of kindness add up and are easily repeated. If we're going to spread an emotion like a virus the way trolls and media spread nastiness, make it an effort to spread compassion and respect.
Compassion. Empathy. Sympathy. All definitions from www.dictionary.com.
com·pas·sion
[kuhm-pash-uhn]
noun
1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
em·pa·thy
[em-puh-thee]
noun
1. the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
sym·pa·thy
[sim-puh-thee]
1. harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
2. the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.
3. the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.
Monday, June 02, 2014
Mythic Monday: Medusa
This is not a funny post. If you aren't into mythology and fantasy, you might get bored today.
A couple of years ago I had a germ of an idea to do "monster Monday" posts on this blog, and I ended up letting the idea slide into permanent brain percolation instead of following through. But I've decided it's time to chase those passions, so Mondays in June I'm devoting to mythical creatures, people, and tales. It's entirely possible these posts sort of linger unread in the dusty corners of the Internet library, but the research will be fun.
I'm beginning these shenanigans with one of my all time favorite "Monsters" in Greek and Roman myth: Medusa. This may be due to the similarities my hair occasionally has with hers (ie, it randomly attempts to kill me). Or it could be due to the sympathy I've always felt for her. Medusa has one of the most distinct lines of pre/post mythological change of any ancient character. Seriously, this woman was quite intentionally changed from demi-goddess to rape victim. The result? A mishmash of both stories that gave us the terrifying creature Perseus had to behead for the good of all (and to steal her powers for his own purposes).
In ancient Greek stories (I'm going off the Hesiod myths in Theogony, circa 8th century CE) Medusa was the one of three demi-god sisters, the Gorgons. Daughter of two sea deities, Medusa was the only mortal sibling, which is interesting because her mortality is sort of dropped into the story as though it should mean something, but it isn't mentioned again. Originally, she always had the power to turn people to stone with a look, and she was both beautiful and horrifically terrible, depending on the age of the myth. It appears originally she was born monstrous, hideously ugly and terrifying. She became beautiful in later Greek depictions as evidenced by the changes in the stories as the centuries passed, and the changes in Greek pottery paintings which portrayed her as a beautiful woman.
Here's the thing about Medusa: her name in ancient Greek means "Guardian" or "Protectress." Her name, her deadly gaze, her immortal family: all the ancient version's details point to Medusa being some sort of powerful protector of something. Boy, doesn't that make you wonder what she was guarding?
Even in the ancient version of the myth, Medusa has two children with the Sea God Poseidon, but there's every indication that the sex was mutual. Also, some serious magic HAS to be involved in birthing a Pegasus. Medusa was killed by Perseus, a demi-god who was helped by Athena to kill Medusa and win Pegasus's help so he could kill the Kraken. Ultimately Perseus beheads Medusa and carries her writhing-snake-statue-creating head in a sack to use against his enemies. Apparently, it didn't occur to anyone to just ask her, and thus the mortal Gorgon passes into Greek myth.
What about the snakes-for-hair thing? Isn't that sort of, well, overkill for a creature who can literally turn you to stone before you get anywhere near her hair? I think this has something to do with even older myths than Greek gods. There are theories about pre-Grecian cults which revered snakes for their apparent immortality. Snakes are mentioned even in some of the older myths about Apollo's oracle at Delphi. The oldest versions, where Medusa was always a hideous monster, she and her sisters are "girded with snakes." Every version of the myth credits the venomous snakes in Libya as Medusa's legacy. All renditions agree that when Perseus carried Medusa's head around, her blood dripped on the sands in Libya (her traditional home). Her blood transformed into the vipers and other venomous snakes that live in the desert there.
Around the 1st century CE, Ovid wrote down the Medusa myth again in his Metamorphasis (that'd be right around the turn of the millennium, if you're counting). Rome had assimilated Greek myth into their pantheon for hundreds of years. I find the story Ovid recorded significantly more disturbing, and I'd like to find out when, exactly, Medusa changed so drastically from a power in her own right to what she became in Roman myth.
Ovid's Medusa is a gorgeous mortal girl (girl as in young: teenager with no power whatsoever) acting as an acolyte in Athena's temple by the sea. In doing her normal duties, she catches the attention of Poseidon, brother of Zeus and god of the sea. Medusa is raped by Poseidon IN ATHENA'S GODDAMNED TEMPLE. Athena is so offended she punishes Medusa by making her hideous: her long beautiful (tempting) hair is transformed into venomous snakes. Her pretty face ruined and disfigured. Her gaze becomes deadly: to look upon her will turn anyone and anything to stone. That's right: Ovid thinks Athena is so pissed at a rape victim that she not only punishes the girl for the crime of being attacked, she punishes the girl in such a way that she can NEVER have any contact with any living being. Ever. Again. No really, think about that for just a second. Medusa's punishment is so severe she can't even look upon her own children without turning them to stone: she's utterly cut off from all contact with anyone. Boy, at that point I'd think Perseus coming to take her head would be a welcome relief from an eternity of loneliness and despair.
Unfortunately, it's this version of the myth that's lasted through time: look up Medusa on Wikipedia or any book of myths (that isn't written for children) and you'll usually get the Ovid version. But looking back at the earlier Greek versions, I can't help but wonder about the missing pieces.
My imagination is flooded right now with multiple alternating stories of Medusa and her rather tragic plight. I've already outlined two utterly opposite short stories about her...I adore the mystery and power that surrounds her person in the pantheon of Greek deities.
What was Medusa created to protect? Was Perseus REALLY after her power to kill, was he after killing a monster, or was he after whatever it was she guarded?
A couple of years ago I had a germ of an idea to do "monster Monday" posts on this blog, and I ended up letting the idea slide into permanent brain percolation instead of following through. But I've decided it's time to chase those passions, so Mondays in June I'm devoting to mythical creatures, people, and tales. It's entirely possible these posts sort of linger unread in the dusty corners of the Internet library, but the research will be fun.
I'm beginning these shenanigans with one of my all time favorite "Monsters" in Greek and Roman myth: Medusa. This may be due to the similarities my hair occasionally has with hers (ie, it randomly attempts to kill me). Or it could be due to the sympathy I've always felt for her. Medusa has one of the most distinct lines of pre/post mythological change of any ancient character. Seriously, this woman was quite intentionally changed from demi-goddess to rape victim. The result? A mishmash of both stories that gave us the terrifying creature Perseus had to behead for the good of all (and to steal her powers for his own purposes).
In ancient Greek stories (I'm going off the Hesiod myths in Theogony, circa 8th century CE) Medusa was the one of three demi-god sisters, the Gorgons. Daughter of two sea deities, Medusa was the only mortal sibling, which is interesting because her mortality is sort of dropped into the story as though it should mean something, but it isn't mentioned again. Originally, she always had the power to turn people to stone with a look, and she was both beautiful and horrifically terrible, depending on the age of the myth. It appears originally she was born monstrous, hideously ugly and terrifying. She became beautiful in later Greek depictions as evidenced by the changes in the stories as the centuries passed, and the changes in Greek pottery paintings which portrayed her as a beautiful woman.
Here's the thing about Medusa: her name in ancient Greek means "Guardian" or "Protectress." Her name, her deadly gaze, her immortal family: all the ancient version's details point to Medusa being some sort of powerful protector of something. Boy, doesn't that make you wonder what she was guarding?
Even in the ancient version of the myth, Medusa has two children with the Sea God Poseidon, but there's every indication that the sex was mutual. Also, some serious magic HAS to be involved in birthing a Pegasus. Medusa was killed by Perseus, a demi-god who was helped by Athena to kill Medusa and win Pegasus's help so he could kill the Kraken. Ultimately Perseus beheads Medusa and carries her writhing-snake-statue-creating head in a sack to use against his enemies. Apparently, it didn't occur to anyone to just ask her, and thus the mortal Gorgon passes into Greek myth.
What about the snakes-for-hair thing? Isn't that sort of, well, overkill for a creature who can literally turn you to stone before you get anywhere near her hair? I think this has something to do with even older myths than Greek gods. There are theories about pre-Grecian cults which revered snakes for their apparent immortality. Snakes are mentioned even in some of the older myths about Apollo's oracle at Delphi. The oldest versions, where Medusa was always a hideous monster, she and her sisters are "girded with snakes." Every version of the myth credits the venomous snakes in Libya as Medusa's legacy. All renditions agree that when Perseus carried Medusa's head around, her blood dripped on the sands in Libya (her traditional home). Her blood transformed into the vipers and other venomous snakes that live in the desert there.
Around the 1st century CE, Ovid wrote down the Medusa myth again in his Metamorphasis (that'd be right around the turn of the millennium, if you're counting). Rome had assimilated Greek myth into their pantheon for hundreds of years. I find the story Ovid recorded significantly more disturbing, and I'd like to find out when, exactly, Medusa changed so drastically from a power in her own right to what she became in Roman myth.
Ovid's Medusa is a gorgeous mortal girl (girl as in young: teenager with no power whatsoever) acting as an acolyte in Athena's temple by the sea. In doing her normal duties, she catches the attention of Poseidon, brother of Zeus and god of the sea. Medusa is raped by Poseidon IN ATHENA'S GODDAMNED TEMPLE. Athena is so offended she punishes Medusa by making her hideous: her long beautiful (tempting) hair is transformed into venomous snakes. Her pretty face ruined and disfigured. Her gaze becomes deadly: to look upon her will turn anyone and anything to stone. That's right: Ovid thinks Athena is so pissed at a rape victim that she not only punishes the girl for the crime of being attacked, she punishes the girl in such a way that she can NEVER have any contact with any living being. Ever. Again. No really, think about that for just a second. Medusa's punishment is so severe she can't even look upon her own children without turning them to stone: she's utterly cut off from all contact with anyone. Boy, at that point I'd think Perseus coming to take her head would be a welcome relief from an eternity of loneliness and despair.
Unfortunately, it's this version of the myth that's lasted through time: look up Medusa on Wikipedia or any book of myths (that isn't written for children) and you'll usually get the Ovid version. But looking back at the earlier Greek versions, I can't help but wonder about the missing pieces.
My imagination is flooded right now with multiple alternating stories of Medusa and her rather tragic plight. I've already outlined two utterly opposite short stories about her...I adore the mystery and power that surrounds her person in the pantheon of Greek deities.
What was Medusa created to protect? Was Perseus REALLY after her power to kill, was he after killing a monster, or was he after whatever it was she guarded?
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Townhome Twits: Episode Brothel. Yes, I saved this for last.
So I believe I told the Baba Yaga story about the old woman who sold her house for pennies a few years ago, yes?
This ties to the brothel thing, I swear.
Directly across from Baba Yaga's unit is a home that's flipped five or six times since we moved in. The last actual owner who lived there was a badass lady from Oklahoma, who told me once that her neighbor (Peeping Peeper) once tried to talk his way into her house to "check" something. She, being a take-no-shit-from-anyone woman, looked him in the eye and advise she's perfectly safe with her carry permit and .45. Then she shut the door in his face. I wish she still lived there. Unfortunately, she lost her job when the market tanked and had to leave her house to move back to Oklahoma. Various groups of renters have been in her place since then.
In the meantime, Baba Yaga's house was purchased by a very nice young family with three little girls. In five years I've seen the wife once: she advised (very nicely) that her kids couldn't play with our dogs because they couldn't let dogs lick the kid's faces (their religion says dogs are dirty). To each their own, I say, and we've been pretty decent neighbors overall (there's one house between us: the lovely and VERY forgiving Mexican family whose bird was murdered by my overzealous dog).
The same summer the no-dog family moved in, a group of college girls rented out Oklahoma's house. As typical college girls, they had parties. They had friends coming and going. The whirlwind bitch shared walls with them, and never complained at all so everyone assumed they weren't bothering anyone, and all was well.
Until I came home from work one day to be stopped by the Baba Yaga's new owner. He asked if I'm on the board (I was at the time) and "reported" that "those women" are running a brothel in that house, and something needs to be done. His exact words, which I will likely never forget: "I have small girls: I don't want them exposed to that filth."
What. The. Fuck.
Nope, I didn't laugh in his face. I asked what prompted this suspicion. He said "men come and go, stay overnight, and cars are always changing." Sigh.
I told him it's extremely unlikely the independent women in that house are running a whorehouse: if they were, likely their wall-sharing neighbors would say something. I reiterated that adult women are allowed to have whomever they like over to their home as long as they don't impede traffic or cause disturbances: they'd done neither. Then I asked how on earth a baby and two toddlers would have any idea they'd been "exposed" to "those women" unless HE said something to them. He couldn't really answer that.
To be fair, I was as professional as I could be in my response, no matter what I WANTED to say. I said if he saw actual laws being broken he'd need to call the police, but a house of female roommates with boyfriends is a LONG way from a brothel.
Since then the ladies have moved out (and we've had a few different groups living in that house...I suspect because they discover they're living next to a peeper and run like hell) and the family's girls are old enough to ride their bikes unsupervised around our driveway. Along with all the other lovely unsupervised spawn who taunt my dogs through my back windows, ride their bikes around blind corners with traffic and apparently create campfires on the hill in the backyard.
I love kids. I wish these had parents who paid some attention, because there's way worse things than being exposed to independent women in our neighborhood.
This ties to the brothel thing, I swear.
Directly across from Baba Yaga's unit is a home that's flipped five or six times since we moved in. The last actual owner who lived there was a badass lady from Oklahoma, who told me once that her neighbor (Peeping Peeper) once tried to talk his way into her house to "check" something. She, being a take-no-shit-from-anyone woman, looked him in the eye and advise she's perfectly safe with her carry permit and .45. Then she shut the door in his face. I wish she still lived there. Unfortunately, she lost her job when the market tanked and had to leave her house to move back to Oklahoma. Various groups of renters have been in her place since then.
In the meantime, Baba Yaga's house was purchased by a very nice young family with three little girls. In five years I've seen the wife once: she advised (very nicely) that her kids couldn't play with our dogs because they couldn't let dogs lick the kid's faces (their religion says dogs are dirty). To each their own, I say, and we've been pretty decent neighbors overall (there's one house between us: the lovely and VERY forgiving Mexican family whose bird was murdered by my overzealous dog).
The same summer the no-dog family moved in, a group of college girls rented out Oklahoma's house. As typical college girls, they had parties. They had friends coming and going. The whirlwind bitch shared walls with them, and never complained at all so everyone assumed they weren't bothering anyone, and all was well.
Until I came home from work one day to be stopped by the Baba Yaga's new owner. He asked if I'm on the board (I was at the time) and "reported" that "those women" are running a brothel in that house, and something needs to be done. His exact words, which I will likely never forget: "I have small girls: I don't want them exposed to that filth."
What. The. Fuck.
Nope, I didn't laugh in his face. I asked what prompted this suspicion. He said "men come and go, stay overnight, and cars are always changing." Sigh.
I told him it's extremely unlikely the independent women in that house are running a whorehouse: if they were, likely their wall-sharing neighbors would say something. I reiterated that adult women are allowed to have whomever they like over to their home as long as they don't impede traffic or cause disturbances: they'd done neither. Then I asked how on earth a baby and two toddlers would have any idea they'd been "exposed" to "those women" unless HE said something to them. He couldn't really answer that.
To be fair, I was as professional as I could be in my response, no matter what I WANTED to say. I said if he saw actual laws being broken he'd need to call the police, but a house of female roommates with boyfriends is a LONG way from a brothel.
Since then the ladies have moved out (and we've had a few different groups living in that house...I suspect because they discover they're living next to a peeper and run like hell) and the family's girls are old enough to ride their bikes unsupervised around our driveway. Along with all the other lovely unsupervised spawn who taunt my dogs through my back windows, ride their bikes around blind corners with traffic and apparently create campfires on the hill in the backyard.
I love kids. I wish these had parents who paid some attention, because there's way worse things than being exposed to independent women in our neighborhood.
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Why Texas Matters, and Why I Support Wendy Davis (from MN)
I don't usually get all political-like on this blog. I do pay attention to politics, though, and I pay attention to the constant erosion of rights that's been happening in this country. It's pretty horrifying, really. And as a woman I've been following the Texas debates over the ridiculously restrictive abortion bill pretty closely, because it's not just about Texas. Let's ignore the dirty and underhanded skirting of the rules and laws in Texas regarding parliamentary procedures, and focus only on the bill itself, shall we?
In fact, it's not about abortion, although the Republicans would REALLY like you to ignore that fact, because screaming "KILLING BABIES" gets them blind support for a bill that effectively enslaves a large population in their state to women's bodies. No, I'm not being dramatic: let's review.
First of all, the 20 week ban is a straw-man intended to get the pure reactive response of pro-lifers. I'd wager $100 that said reactions are by people who only saw the Fox News headlines and didn't bother to read the actual bill. According to the most recent CDC statistics (2008), 91.4% of reported abortions occurred prior to 13 weeks. 91.4%. That means 91.4% of the Texas bill banning abortions after 20 weeks has NOTHING to do with the abortions themselves. If you've listened to any of the testimony at all (it's live-streamed, by the way), you'd hear that most of the less-than-10% of women who have an abortion after they've made it halfway through their pregnancy do so for a medically necessary reasons.
Oh Conservative Texas Legislators: Do you REALLY think a woman who's carried life inside her for 20 weeks would arbitrarily end it? Do you REALLY think a woman should be forced to carry a stillborn corpse to term (which is exactly what would've happened for many of the women providing testimony)? More importantly, who exactly give you the right to judge another woman or family for THEIR choices in this life, and decide for another adult what's best for them and their family?
Are there outliers, women who truly use abortion as birth control? I'm sure there are. There are outliers on both sides. Outliers are OUTLIERS...but this bill focuses on them to distract people from the real issue.
The real issue here is HEALTHCARE for women, and male legislators attempting to control the less-privileged people in their state. Oh, you think I'm avoiding the KILLING BABIES issue? Let's review.
The Texas abortion bill will, in effect, close many of the affordable health care clinics in Texas. Is that an issue for the well off and/or wealthy women in the state? Nope: they can likely afford to travel to the few remaining clinics if they need to. So in practice, this bill removes not only abortion but family planning and birth control from a population of women unable to take time off of work or travel a few hundred miles to see a doctor.
This is in the wake of two major blows to women owning their own bodies and reproductive cycles: Planned Parenthood getting effectively kicked out of Texas via defunding, and abstinence-only sex education. BOTH of these resources educate women on how their body works and what can be done to prevent pregnancy.
What was the Senate's response when birth control was brought up in yesterday's debate? "Use condoms."
Hmm. Aren't condoms a MALE BIRTH CONTROL? So...what Texas Conservatives are really saying is: you're a slut if you have sex before marriage and deserve what you get, because we don't believe you have the right to control your own health care: it's up to the MAN (via a condom) to choose whether you get pregnant or now.
Birth control freed women from the patriarchal control of their bodies through pregnancy...and Conservative legislators in this country have been trying desperately to get the "little woman" back under control. Don't believe me? How many women were on the US Congress panels regarding birth control when Rush Limbaugh called a college student a whore for wanting access to the pill? Hmm.
Oh wait...sex education is abstinence only...so even using condoms isn't taught as a birth control option.
Now, let's remove the feminist piece of this and focus on the men. What happens when lower-income families are denied good sex education, access to birth control, and affordable/accessible health care (yes, that includes abortions)?
They have babies. Lots of babies. Why? Because human beings are wired to have sex, particularly when they're in love and in stable relationships. Oh, you thought this didn't apply to married couples? It does. The sex isn't stopping: conservatives can try all they like to stop human nature, but it's going to happen.
Women aren't the only population impacted by this bill: the men who love them, their children, their potential children and families are ALL impacted. And when a low-income family has more babies than they can afford as a family, what happens? They're trapped financially. How exactly does a bill that will close the doors to health-care facilities serving this population in particular NOT enslave that very population economically, and how exactly is that better for the children in these families?
Let me say again: this bill does not ban abortion: abortions under 20 weeks will still be legal in the state (and as you can see if you click the CDC link, 91.4% of abortions are done FAR earlier than 20 weeks). This bill is an attempt to control women's bodies, reproductive rights, and economic status by denying health care and birth control via making access so limited and expensive it's impossible to access it.
Why is this important to me, a Minnesotan far removed from Texas (or North Carolina or Wisconsin or Ohio)? Well, Mark Rubio has said he intends to introduce a nearly identical bill in the US Senate. So yeah, this is important to me. Women (and the men with them) of any social status, economic status, or race shouldn't be slaves to their reproductive cycles. Education and family planning resources have been eroded for over a decade, and now the remaining health-facilities which provide those resources could be closed.
This is absolutely a big deal, and it's important for women AND men to stand up and say clearly: WOMEN CAN CONTROL THEIR OWN LIVES, BODIES, and HEALTH CARE.
Conservative legislators in this country (mostly male, but some females as well) feel they have the right to get between a woman's medical decisions with her doctor. Why? Because their religious beliefs tell them it's wrong. Never mind that your beliefs may not be mine. Never mind that EVERY major religion in the world has some variation of judgement being left to God.
I wasn't aware so many Conservatives' glass houses are stone-proof.
In fact, it's not about abortion, although the Republicans would REALLY like you to ignore that fact, because screaming "KILLING BABIES" gets them blind support for a bill that effectively enslaves a large population in their state to women's bodies. No, I'm not being dramatic: let's review.
First of all, the 20 week ban is a straw-man intended to get the pure reactive response of pro-lifers. I'd wager $100 that said reactions are by people who only saw the Fox News headlines and didn't bother to read the actual bill. According to the most recent CDC statistics (2008), 91.4% of reported abortions occurred prior to 13 weeks. 91.4%. That means 91.4% of the Texas bill banning abortions after 20 weeks has NOTHING to do with the abortions themselves. If you've listened to any of the testimony at all (it's live-streamed, by the way), you'd hear that most of the less-than-10% of women who have an abortion after they've made it halfway through their pregnancy do so for a medically necessary reasons.
Oh Conservative Texas Legislators: Do you REALLY think a woman who's carried life inside her for 20 weeks would arbitrarily end it? Do you REALLY think a woman should be forced to carry a stillborn corpse to term (which is exactly what would've happened for many of the women providing testimony)? More importantly, who exactly give you the right to judge another woman or family for THEIR choices in this life, and decide for another adult what's best for them and their family?
Are there outliers, women who truly use abortion as birth control? I'm sure there are. There are outliers on both sides. Outliers are OUTLIERS...but this bill focuses on them to distract people from the real issue.
The real issue here is HEALTHCARE for women, and male legislators attempting to control the less-privileged people in their state. Oh, you think I'm avoiding the KILLING BABIES issue? Let's review.
The Texas abortion bill will, in effect, close many of the affordable health care clinics in Texas. Is that an issue for the well off and/or wealthy women in the state? Nope: they can likely afford to travel to the few remaining clinics if they need to. So in practice, this bill removes not only abortion but family planning and birth control from a population of women unable to take time off of work or travel a few hundred miles to see a doctor.
This is in the wake of two major blows to women owning their own bodies and reproductive cycles: Planned Parenthood getting effectively kicked out of Texas via defunding, and abstinence-only sex education. BOTH of these resources educate women on how their body works and what can be done to prevent pregnancy.
What was the Senate's response when birth control was brought up in yesterday's debate? "Use condoms."
Hmm. Aren't condoms a MALE BIRTH CONTROL? So...what Texas Conservatives are really saying is: you're a slut if you have sex before marriage and deserve what you get, because we don't believe you have the right to control your own health care: it's up to the MAN (via a condom) to choose whether you get pregnant or now.
Birth control freed women from the patriarchal control of their bodies through pregnancy...and Conservative legislators in this country have been trying desperately to get the "little woman" back under control. Don't believe me? How many women were on the US Congress panels regarding birth control when Rush Limbaugh called a college student a whore for wanting access to the pill? Hmm.
Oh wait...sex education is abstinence only...so even using condoms isn't taught as a birth control option.
Now, let's remove the feminist piece of this and focus on the men. What happens when lower-income families are denied good sex education, access to birth control, and affordable/accessible health care (yes, that includes abortions)?
They have babies. Lots of babies. Why? Because human beings are wired to have sex, particularly when they're in love and in stable relationships. Oh, you thought this didn't apply to married couples? It does. The sex isn't stopping: conservatives can try all they like to stop human nature, but it's going to happen.
Women aren't the only population impacted by this bill: the men who love them, their children, their potential children and families are ALL impacted. And when a low-income family has more babies than they can afford as a family, what happens? They're trapped financially. How exactly does a bill that will close the doors to health-care facilities serving this population in particular NOT enslave that very population economically, and how exactly is that better for the children in these families?
Let me say again: this bill does not ban abortion: abortions under 20 weeks will still be legal in the state (and as you can see if you click the CDC link, 91.4% of abortions are done FAR earlier than 20 weeks). This bill is an attempt to control women's bodies, reproductive rights, and economic status by denying health care and birth control via making access so limited and expensive it's impossible to access it.
Why is this important to me, a Minnesotan far removed from Texas (or North Carolina or Wisconsin or Ohio)? Well, Mark Rubio has said he intends to introduce a nearly identical bill in the US Senate. So yeah, this is important to me. Women (and the men with them) of any social status, economic status, or race shouldn't be slaves to their reproductive cycles. Education and family planning resources have been eroded for over a decade, and now the remaining health-facilities which provide those resources could be closed.
This is absolutely a big deal, and it's important for women AND men to stand up and say clearly: WOMEN CAN CONTROL THEIR OWN LIVES, BODIES, and HEALTH CARE.
Conservative legislators in this country (mostly male, but some females as well) feel they have the right to get between a woman's medical decisions with her doctor. Why? Because their religious beliefs tell them it's wrong. Never mind that your beliefs may not be mine. Never mind that EVERY major religion in the world has some variation of judgement being left to God.
I wasn't aware so many Conservatives' glass houses are stone-proof.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I Am Not a Dude, Yahoo. Stop Offering Me Women.
My yahoo email address isn't particularly masculine, so I'm mildly amused and somewhat disturbed that I received the following emails in my Spam folder this morning:
Sexy Brides! Hot Russian and Ukrainian Brides Looking For Love
Because a husband isn't enough: I NEED the drama of another wife in the house. Sister wife I am not, but thanks for trying. Sigh. I did wonder for a moment if I shouldn't turn this over to some organization that handles trafficking.
Canadian Pharmacy
To go with the new sexy Ukrainian bride I can pay X dollars to ship here (again, trafficking orgs need to get on this shit), I can get discounted Viagra and Cialis. Because clearly my erectile dysfunction is stopping me from enjoying my new mail order woman.
Hey YOU!
I love these: the same "person" in the from field about once a week who insists we know each other from way back on Yahoo IM and don't I want to look at her dirty pictures at this link? Um, no, Adriana, I do not.
Hmm.
You know, I started this post being amused at Spam's consistent assumption that I want hot, lonely housewives or a safe way to cheat on my wife, or a way to find a new one (when my cheated-on wife leaves me for someone who doesn't open spam emails) AND the drugs to get me going again.
Sigh. Now that I look over this post and realize just how much of my email is cheating/porn/otherwise objectifying women AND belittling men, it makes me sad. Can't we be better than this?
Therefore, I'm adding these links to my blog today:
The Polaris Project A World Without Slavery
LiveYourDream.Org Women helping women achieve dreams
WebMD Marriage Advice Because there are WAY too many relationship counselors out there.
Sexy Brides! Hot Russian and Ukrainian Brides Looking For Love
Because a husband isn't enough: I NEED the drama of another wife in the house. Sister wife I am not, but thanks for trying. Sigh. I did wonder for a moment if I shouldn't turn this over to some organization that handles trafficking.
Canadian Pharmacy
To go with the new sexy Ukrainian bride I can pay X dollars to ship here (again, trafficking orgs need to get on this shit), I can get discounted Viagra and Cialis. Because clearly my erectile dysfunction is stopping me from enjoying my new mail order woman.
Hey YOU!
I love these: the same "person" in the from field about once a week who insists we know each other from way back on Yahoo IM and don't I want to look at her dirty pictures at this link? Um, no, Adriana, I do not.
Hmm.
You know, I started this post being amused at Spam's consistent assumption that I want hot, lonely housewives or a safe way to cheat on my wife, or a way to find a new one (when my cheated-on wife leaves me for someone who doesn't open spam emails) AND the drugs to get me going again.
Sigh. Now that I look over this post and realize just how much of my email is cheating/porn/otherwise objectifying women AND belittling men, it makes me sad. Can't we be better than this?
Therefore, I'm adding these links to my blog today:
The Polaris Project A World Without Slavery
LiveYourDream.Org Women helping women achieve dreams
WebMD Marriage Advice Because there are WAY too many relationship counselors out there.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Xena Warrior Princess Trampled Tuesday
You guys, today I found THIS * and all Townhome Tales were totally diverted by AWESOME.
Let's just take a moment, shall we, and contemplate the utter fabulousness that would be if Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and of course Argo all came back to TV.
Sigh.
*(Should you not feel like randomly clicking Huffington Post links, Lucy Lawless has hinted at the possibility of a renewal of Xena, Warrior Princess on her twitter account.)
PS: Spellcheck recognizes Xena as a word. Win.
Let's just take a moment, shall we, and contemplate the utter fabulousness that would be if Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and of course Argo all came back to TV.
Sigh.
*(Should you not feel like randomly clicking Huffington Post links, Lucy Lawless has hinted at the possibility of a renewal of Xena, Warrior Princess on her twitter account.)
PS: Spellcheck recognizes Xena as a word. Win.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
No, no, you're pronouncing it wrong. It's "whOOre"
So I live in the Land Spring Forgot. Let's just get that out of the way: it's April something-teen and we're in the middle of yet another "shnit" storm (that would be Husband's word for the rain/sleet/snow shit that's currently coating the ground, and more importantly the roads, in a layer of slushy icy crap). This is not a weather-bitching post. Honestly, even a former Northern Minnesotan like me is fucking sick of the weather-bitching.
No, this post is due to a Facebook comment I read today. "Mother Nature is a whore."
I could probably explain the reasons why I'm generally a very long-fused person when it comes to temper, but that's a totally different (and darker) story. Can we just agree that usually I can take a lot of verbal (and otherwise) irritants before I lose my cool. Except for a few things which irritate the fuck out of me. Here's the thing, my Facebook feed is FULL of pro-woman, anti-sexism, anti-slut-shaming posts lately. There's one going around about a principal in a high school who threatened to call a senior's college and tell them how bad her character is and maybe they should rethink her future there. Because she didn't go to the abstinence-only assembly where the speaker said (per Huffington Post) "if you're on birth control, your mother hates you."
What I find silly is when the same people who support stopping the BLATANT sexism are so often those who participate in the more subtle, pervasive sexism in our culture.
Whore.
Let's review the meaning of "whore" shall we? Thank you, www.Dictionary.com for this:
r] noun, verb, whored, whor·ing.
To contrast, the best weather-bitching I've seen all week was "everyone likes to sleep in once in a while. But I think it's time to get Mother Nature an alarm clock."
Seriously, Lady...it's cold here and I'm really tired of ice. I know you forgot about Minnesota, but could you send Spring now?
No, this post is due to a Facebook comment I read today. "Mother Nature is a whore."
I could probably explain the reasons why I'm generally a very long-fused person when it comes to temper, but that's a totally different (and darker) story. Can we just agree that usually I can take a lot of verbal (and otherwise) irritants before I lose my cool. Except for a few things which irritate the fuck out of me. Here's the thing, my Facebook feed is FULL of pro-woman, anti-sexism, anti-slut-shaming posts lately. There's one going around about a principal in a high school who threatened to call a senior's college and tell them how bad her character is and maybe they should rethink her future there. Because she didn't go to the abstinence-only assembly where the speaker said (per Huffington Post) "if you're on birth control, your mother hates you."
What I find silly is when the same people who support stopping the BLATANT sexism are so often those who participate in the more subtle, pervasive sexism in our culture.
Whore.
Let's review the meaning of "whore" shall we? Thank you, www.Dictionary.com for this:
whore
[hawr, hohr or, often, hoor] noun, verb, whored, whor·ing.
noun
1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.
verb (used without object)
2. to act as a whore.
3. to consort with whores.
verb (used with object)
4. Obsolete . to make a whore of; corrupt; debauch.
So. One of the challenges of the English language is finding the right word to convey the emotional message to the reader. But this particular word is used SPECIFICALLY to express disgust in a woman's behavior. Not a man's behavior. Only women, and only with the most demeaning intent. After all, you move further down the degradation ladder when you go from slut to whore, right?
Honestly, I've considered this topic before. I don't find anyone, male or female, engaging in "promiscuous sexual intercourse" as less "moral" or any less "respectable" as me. I find that particular trait to be the MOST idiotic thing to judge in a person... WHY would I care if someone is promiscuous? It is not a sign of moral weakness, no matter what the patriarchal religious tenets teach. It can be a sign of self-loathing, but not always. And I'm not going to assume I know what's going on in someone's head. Maybe they just really like sex, for crying out loud.
I don't care if anyone, male or female, chooses to have any sort of sexual contact for money unless they're forced into it (in which case I'd gladly . And I don't judge those who've done it because they had to (whether physically forced, emotionally forced, or financially desperate). Why would I? People do what they need to in order to survive, and not everyone's life is as fucking rosy or happy as those portrayed in the media (social or otherwise).
This particular comment was a "damn it, fucking snow AGAIN" frustration. But you know, on days like today, when the weather is utterly unpredictable, the ONLY reason I survive is because I have neat things available like indoor heat and grocery stores. Mother Nature could easily rip my head off, in every sense of the word.
If, as a society, we have no respect for even the natural/supernatural forces that we identify as female, are we not including sexism and contempt for the female at our most base and subconscious level? I suppose it's the Pagan-ness in me that gets irked at derogatory terms lobbed around, even though Mother Nature likely doesn't give a hoot what any of us think.
Plus, honestly, as a Pagan I'm pretty sure I wouldn't call any force in the world capable of burying me in any sort of natural disaster a derogatory term.
Dude, you JUST NEVER KNOW.
If, as a society, we have no respect for even the natural/supernatural forces that we identify as female, are we not including sexism and contempt for the female at our most base and subconscious level? I suppose it's the Pagan-ness in me that gets irked at derogatory terms lobbed around, even though Mother Nature likely doesn't give a hoot what any of us think.
Plus, honestly, as a Pagan I'm pretty sure I wouldn't call any force in the world capable of burying me in any sort of natural disaster a derogatory term.
Dude, you JUST NEVER KNOW.
Ok so most of this post was a feminist rant. It's true. If you're going to ignore all the other things I said, at least pronounce the word the fun way. I mean really, using a ridiculous word deserves a ridiculous pronunciation, and for that I refer you to Captains William F. Call and Augustus McRae in Lonesome Dove... who say "whoore" (with the "oo" in the middle) as fact and in appreciation.
If whoore doesn't do it for you, try "Harlot" or "strumpet." Expand your insult ability: both are much more colorful words if you're going to go all Biblically judgmental on any female's sexual proclivities just because you're not happy with her behavior.
If whoore doesn't do it for you, try "Harlot" or "strumpet." Expand your insult ability: both are much more colorful words if you're going to go all Biblically judgmental on any female's sexual proclivities just because you're not happy with her behavior.
To contrast, the best weather-bitching I've seen all week was "everyone likes to sleep in once in a while. But I think it's time to get Mother Nature an alarm clock."
Seriously, Lady...it's cold here and I'm really tired of ice. I know you forgot about Minnesota, but could you send Spring now?
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Updated: Feminism: No, Really
fem·i·nism/ˈfÉ›m əˌnɪz É™m/ [fem-uh-niz-uh m]
noun
1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. ( sometimes initial capital letter ) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.
Recently my friend Superbetsy blogged, in a wonderfully snarky way, about cosplay at various geeky conventions. A commenter took issue with the subject as "unfeminist" and irrationally attacked the post based on...well, stupid. Phenomenally, remarkably, blindly stupid. She went on and on about how basic female grooming (plucking eyebrows, shaving legs, wearing makeup, etc) only fed the patriarchal inequality in this country.
Fucking REALLY? You judgemental, inexperienced, self-righteous IDIOT.
Instead of standing together, "feminists" of this ilk attack any woman who enjoys being female...never mind that same female may make significantly more money than her spouse, volunteer at a shelter, and help other women build themselves up. "Feminists" like the commenter put the same "ist" into feminism that goes with "race," "sex," "age," or any other reason to exclude a group with bigotry.
All over the world, women are subjected to various sorts of domestic violence. Women are sold as sex slaves. Women are prevented from receiving education, medical care, dignity, and in many cases life.
Feminism isn't about whether or not wearing makeup, plucking your eyebrows, wearing high heels, trying to attract a member of the same or opposite sex makes you more or less a woman. It's about equality, and enjoying that I'm a woman doesn't change my belief that the sexes should be treated equally and women shouldn't have to face degradation, torture, and violence just for having a vagina. Feminism means if a woman chooses to fill a traditional role she has the right to do so, just as if a woman chooses to get an advanced education and become an entrepreneur she has the right to do that too.
I'm not concerned whether my looks, my choice in footwear, clothes or grooming feed a patriarchal society. I'm concerned about important things that will CHANGE society, like making safety, dignity, respect, equality, education, and opportunity available for women AND men.
Is it idealistic? Of course it is: that's a long road all over the world. But it instantly pisses me off to hear self-righteous bitches judge other women for their choices while there are so many out there that don't HAVE those choices. Because the "ist" in feminist can all to easily forget that if equality is what we're after, men are equal to us, too.
Updated: in Italy, the Church says it's YOUR fault for your husband beating you. If you cooked/cleaned/wore differnt clothes and were totally dependent on your husband, he wouldn't beat you. Between this article and the Pope's recent assertions that people who "choose" to be gay are denying their humanity (thereby implying GLBT people are less human), I wonder if the Vatican isn't purposefully trying to alienate people. Italians, by the way, are livid over this "if you acted better he wouldn't beat you" crap.
noun
1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. ( sometimes initial capital letter ) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.
Recently my friend Superbetsy blogged, in a wonderfully snarky way, about cosplay at various geeky conventions. A commenter took issue with the subject as "unfeminist" and irrationally attacked the post based on...well, stupid. Phenomenally, remarkably, blindly stupid. She went on and on about how basic female grooming (plucking eyebrows, shaving legs, wearing makeup, etc) only fed the patriarchal inequality in this country.
Fucking REALLY? You judgemental, inexperienced, self-righteous IDIOT.
Instead of standing together, "feminists" of this ilk attack any woman who enjoys being female...never mind that same female may make significantly more money than her spouse, volunteer at a shelter, and help other women build themselves up. "Feminists" like the commenter put the same "ist" into feminism that goes with "race," "sex," "age," or any other reason to exclude a group with bigotry.
All over the world, women are subjected to various sorts of domestic violence. Women are sold as sex slaves. Women are prevented from receiving education, medical care, dignity, and in many cases life.
- In India, a woman was gang raped to the extent her attackers RIPPED OUT PIECES OF HER INTESTINE. Yeah. That didn't make US news outlets, but that's why she's still in critical condition. She was on a supposedly safe bus. With her boyfriend.
- In Afghanistan, a pre-teen was shot by the Taliban for the horrific crime of her "dishonorable" desire to GET AN EDUCATION.
- In the United States:
- a college student daring to speak up for the right to control her own reproductive system is called a slut publicly by media and politicians in an attempt to shame her into silence.
- The same politicians try to say rape isn't real if a woman gets pregnant, that pregnancy can't happen if it was REALLY rape.
- A girlfriend and mother is killed by her cheating boyfriend for the uppity crime of saying he can't fuck other women and be with her. He then killed himself, and there are SHRINES of mourning for HIM. Because he was an NFL player...and a selfish murderer who deprived his daughter of her mother over a goddamn argument.
Feminism isn't about whether or not wearing makeup, plucking your eyebrows, wearing high heels, trying to attract a member of the same or opposite sex makes you more or less a woman. It's about equality, and enjoying that I'm a woman doesn't change my belief that the sexes should be treated equally and women shouldn't have to face degradation, torture, and violence just for having a vagina. Feminism means if a woman chooses to fill a traditional role she has the right to do so, just as if a woman chooses to get an advanced education and become an entrepreneur she has the right to do that too.
I'm not concerned whether my looks, my choice in footwear, clothes or grooming feed a patriarchal society. I'm concerned about important things that will CHANGE society, like making safety, dignity, respect, equality, education, and opportunity available for women AND men.
Is it idealistic? Of course it is: that's a long road all over the world. But it instantly pisses me off to hear self-righteous bitches judge other women for their choices while there are so many out there that don't HAVE those choices. Because the "ist" in feminist can all to easily forget that if equality is what we're after, men are equal to us, too.
Updated: in Italy, the Church says it's YOUR fault for your husband beating you. If you cooked/cleaned/wore differnt clothes and were totally dependent on your husband, he wouldn't beat you. Between this article and the Pope's recent assertions that people who "choose" to be gay are denying their humanity (thereby implying GLBT people are less human), I wonder if the Vatican isn't purposefully trying to alienate people. Italians, by the way, are livid over this "if you acted better he wouldn't beat you" crap.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Freedom isn't free.
This is not a funny post, and honestly, it shouldn't be. I posted a bit of this on facebook the other day, but a momentary rant made me really start thinking about what's going on in today's political climate. This will be my only post on politics in this season (unless, of course, I "misspoke" in which case a PR person will shrug and comment somewhere on my blog that I didn't mean what I said. Even though I do, indeed, mean it).
Know what happens when you give away your rights over and over to government entities for "protection"? YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS. Know why we have the first and second amendments? Because when the US was a colony we didn't have the right to protest or stand up for ourselves. That's what the founding fathers intended with the Bill of Rights, with the Constitution, and with the freedoms we TOOK for ourselves in this country.
I resent that the political party originally valuing personal responsibility, financial independence, and small government influence/interference has become a Christian Coalition front-man pushing EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE sorts of controls on US citizens. Guess what? Religion has no place in government, and it BURNS me that the same party that bitched and moaned about a Catholic taking office (Kennedy, hello) is the SAME party pushing for more and more religion-driven-morality laws in the current government. Yes, Republican uber-conservative-religious-fanatics, I'm talking to YOU.
I resent that the political party originally valuing civic duty, taking care of the less fortunate, and ensuring the welfare of many over the wealth of the few has become a fucking nanny party determined to erode common sense and ANY sense of responsibility in favor of taking away my personal rights, particularly the right I have to protect myself with a gun, if necessary. That's right, uber-liberal-do-gooder-busybodies: I'm talking to YOU.
What the hell happened to all the MODERATES? You know, the ones who have common sense and can agree with some basic principles on both sides?
Seriously, what happens when we give up our rights? We lose them, and it takes a goddamn revolution to get them back. I'm not interested in a revolution: in a war people suffer on all sides. I'm interested in the government pulling their heads out of their ASSES and making some sense, because right now the Right is alienating any female citizen who has ever been assaulted, victimized, harassed, or is terrified of someone else forcing her to make health decisions without her consent. The Left is alienating honorable men and women who feel strongly in their right and ability to protect their own lives and loved ones, and who understand that NO GOVERNMENT SHOULD EVER be in a position of absolute power over its citizens. Know why?
Absolute power corrupts. Absolutely. (Thanks, Spiderman!)
See what I mean? Democrats and Republicans are EXACTLY THE SAME. They both want to take all the personal control of our lives, (Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, anyone??) our forefathers and -mothers fought and died to take back from a colonizing empire that held us hostage.
Ever since 9/11 we've been giving away our freedoms and our rights in the name of "safety" and "protecting life."
But freedom isn't safe: it never has been.
You want to give up your rights, fine. I think you're fucking stupid, but it's YOUR choice to do so. However, you don't get to give up mine for me in the name of "keeping me safe" or "for my own good" or because you want to control my body and my choices.
Government busybodies don't belong in my bedroom, in my gun cabinet, in my phone/email/facebook/twitter/etc, in my diary, in my bank accounts, my medical records and decisions, or in my marriage.
I value my freedom. I respect the men and women who, over CENTURIES, have given their lives for that freedom. I would like to see this election result in protecting our hard-won rights and freedoms, not either fanatical agenda.
Sigh. End rant.
Know what happens when you give away your rights over and over to government entities for "protection"? YOU GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS. Know why we have the first and second amendments? Because when the US was a colony we didn't have the right to protest or stand up for ourselves. That's what the founding fathers intended with the Bill of Rights, with the Constitution, and with the freedoms we TOOK for ourselves in this country.
I resent that the political party originally valuing personal responsibility, financial independence, and small government influence/interference has become a Christian Coalition front-man pushing EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE sorts of controls on US citizens. Guess what? Religion has no place in government, and it BURNS me that the same party that bitched and moaned about a Catholic taking office (Kennedy, hello) is the SAME party pushing for more and more religion-driven-morality laws in the current government. Yes, Republican uber-conservative-religious-fanatics, I'm talking to YOU.
I resent that the political party originally valuing civic duty, taking care of the less fortunate, and ensuring the welfare of many over the wealth of the few has become a fucking nanny party determined to erode common sense and ANY sense of responsibility in favor of taking away my personal rights, particularly the right I have to protect myself with a gun, if necessary. That's right, uber-liberal-do-gooder-busybodies: I'm talking to YOU.
What the hell happened to all the MODERATES? You know, the ones who have common sense and can agree with some basic principles on both sides?
Seriously, what happens when we give up our rights? We lose them, and it takes a goddamn revolution to get them back. I'm not interested in a revolution: in a war people suffer on all sides. I'm interested in the government pulling their heads out of their ASSES and making some sense, because right now the Right is alienating any female citizen who has ever been assaulted, victimized, harassed, or is terrified of someone else forcing her to make health decisions without her consent. The Left is alienating honorable men and women who feel strongly in their right and ability to protect their own lives and loved ones, and who understand that NO GOVERNMENT SHOULD EVER be in a position of absolute power over its citizens. Know why?
Absolute power corrupts. Absolutely. (Thanks, Spiderman!)
See what I mean? Democrats and Republicans are EXACTLY THE SAME. They both want to take all the personal control of our lives, (Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, anyone??) our forefathers and -mothers fought and died to take back from a colonizing empire that held us hostage.
Ever since 9/11 we've been giving away our freedoms and our rights in the name of "safety" and "protecting life."
But freedom isn't safe: it never has been.
You want to give up your rights, fine. I think you're fucking stupid, but it's YOUR choice to do so. However, you don't get to give up mine for me in the name of "keeping me safe" or "for my own good" or because you want to control my body and my choices.
Government busybodies don't belong in my bedroom, in my gun cabinet, in my phone/email/facebook/twitter/etc, in my diary, in my bank accounts, my medical records and decisions, or in my marriage.
I value my freedom. I respect the men and women who, over CENTURIES, have given their lives for that freedom. I would like to see this election result in protecting our hard-won rights and freedoms, not either fanatical agenda.
Sigh. End rant.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Why I Bellydance (This is not a funny post. You probably don't want to read it).
So I'm six feet tall. This has relevance, promise. By the time I was in fourth grade I was taller than everyone else AND I was getting boobs, because nature decided I needed multiple targets for the bullies in school. Since I was about eight I've been a pretty consistent failure at being a feminine female. I've lost count of how many times I've been called "sir," regardless of makeup or the fact that I have a DD chest.
Model material, you may say...after all, aren't a lot of supermodels tall and boobaliscious? Not this girl: my body wasn't my friend. It still isn't. I've been overweight since I was young and really overweight since college. A lot of that is the same (boring!) body-hatred-punishment bullshit that I KNOW is happening but have a hard time getting over. It doesn't need to be analyzed here, because really, how fucking typical do I want to be?
I don't expect to be Marilyn Monroe or Lana Turner, sexpot extraordinaire. I don't expect to be Kate Moss either (good lord, I like food people, not drugs). Hell, I idolized Hepburn (Katherine, duh) and wanted to be Ripley. But I'd really like to love my body and work with it instead of feeling like I'm locked in constant battle with my mortal enemy. Seriously, your mortal enemy in this mortal life really shouldn't be the FUCKING BODY you pilot.
Ah well, I'm a work in progress. Aren't we all? I focus on it for a while and get lazy or distracted and decide "fuck you world, I don't care if you think I'm pretty/thin/womanly or not," but that's not the answer: ultimately it's the love/loathing dichotomy that needs to change.
Luckily, I've found one (legal-to-view-in-public) physical thing can do something pretty damn cool that a lot of women can't or don't. I can bellydance.
I found Middle Eastern dance a decade ago when I couldn't take my eyes off of Aliyah Sahar at the MN Renaissance Festival. Inspired and terrified, I LONGED to be able to move my body in that graceful, sensual way. I longed for the joy of movement and the utter joy of being female that bellydancers have.
And I found it. Over a remarkabe ten years, not only did I get to learn from Aliyah but managed (bafflingly) to become her friend, and both occurrences have been constant bright facets of my life ever since. (I'm not saying that to get free classes, FYI.)
Bellydance celebrates the female body in the best possible way, and even though it's incorrectly thought of as akin to stripping, bellydance is all about harnessing female energy and powerful beauty, regardless of a woman's size, age, race, or class. I adore the female friends I've made in the community and the support I've received even though I'm not a size 2. I adore the acceptance and encouragement and even the sparkly/jingly/makeup/girly aspects. I adore that no matter how hard class is, no matter how awkward I feel or gangly I am, for at least moment every time I dance I feel like a beautiful woman.
After a decade of awkward classes, stilted performances, frustration, joy, solos, and teaching I feel like I can say: I'm a bellydancer.
Model material, you may say...after all, aren't a lot of supermodels tall and boobaliscious? Not this girl: my body wasn't my friend. It still isn't. I've been overweight since I was young and really overweight since college. A lot of that is the same (boring!) body-hatred-punishment bullshit that I KNOW is happening but have a hard time getting over. It doesn't need to be analyzed here, because really, how fucking typical do I want to be?
I don't expect to be Marilyn Monroe or Lana Turner, sexpot extraordinaire. I don't expect to be Kate Moss either (good lord, I like food people, not drugs). Hell, I idolized Hepburn (Katherine, duh) and wanted to be Ripley. But I'd really like to love my body and work with it instead of feeling like I'm locked in constant battle with my mortal enemy. Seriously, your mortal enemy in this mortal life really shouldn't be the FUCKING BODY you pilot.
Ah well, I'm a work in progress. Aren't we all? I focus on it for a while and get lazy or distracted and decide "fuck you world, I don't care if you think I'm pretty/thin/womanly or not," but that's not the answer: ultimately it's the love/loathing dichotomy that needs to change.
Luckily, I've found one (legal-to-view-in-public) physical thing can do something pretty damn cool that a lot of women can't or don't. I can bellydance.
I found Middle Eastern dance a decade ago when I couldn't take my eyes off of Aliyah Sahar at the MN Renaissance Festival. Inspired and terrified, I LONGED to be able to move my body in that graceful, sensual way. I longed for the joy of movement and the utter joy of being female that bellydancers have.
And I found it. Over a remarkabe ten years, not only did I get to learn from Aliyah but managed (bafflingly) to become her friend, and both occurrences have been constant bright facets of my life ever since. (I'm not saying that to get free classes, FYI.)
Bellydance celebrates the female body in the best possible way, and even though it's incorrectly thought of as akin to stripping, bellydance is all about harnessing female energy and powerful beauty, regardless of a woman's size, age, race, or class. I adore the female friends I've made in the community and the support I've received even though I'm not a size 2. I adore the acceptance and encouragement and even the sparkly/jingly/makeup/girly aspects. I adore that no matter how hard class is, no matter how awkward I feel or gangly I am, for at least moment every time I dance I feel like a beautiful woman.
After a decade of awkward classes, stilted performances, frustration, joy, solos, and teaching I feel like I can say: I'm a bellydancer.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Poking the Bear
I started a bit of a snark war on the Huffington Post yesterday. I read this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barbara-hannah-grufferman/mommy-wars_b_1584446.html and saw a comment from a fool basically saying women need to stay home and make babies because that's the way it's always been.
Well, the historian in me couldn't take THAT, so I had to respond to the jackass's comment. As of this morning I've gotten FOUR replies from him, all in a very condescending, chauvinistic tone. I'm pretty amused: sometimes it's worth the effort to poke at insecure bullies just to see what happens. Snort.
I'm debating responding to his response, but since he essentially outed himself as a fool I don't think it's necessarily worth the effort. Therefore, I'm blogging about it instead.
UPDATE:
Yeah. I couldn't keep my mouth shut, so I DID end up responding. Sigh. Smart isn't always my strong suit, I guess, but sexist intimidation is so irritating.
Well, the historian in me couldn't take THAT, so I had to respond to the jackass's comment. As of this morning I've gotten FOUR replies from him, all in a very condescending, chauvinistic tone. I'm pretty amused: sometimes it's worth the effort to poke at insecure bullies just to see what happens. Snort.
I'm debating responding to his response, but since he essentially outed himself as a fool I don't think it's necessarily worth the effort. Therefore, I'm blogging about it instead.
UPDATE:
Yeah. I couldn't keep my mouth shut, so I DID end up responding. Sigh. Smart isn't always my strong suit, I guess, but sexist intimidation is so irritating.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Sluts and Harlots: The Moms Need Feminist Education
Today, I saw this on The Stir: http://thestir.cafemom.com/teen/137667/uptight_moms_spray_lysol_on
and it makes me both disappointed and sad.
Regardless of my stance on teenagers dirty dancing at a school function, these women's reactions were utterly ridiculous, sexist, and downright misogynistic. What, you didn't think women can hate women?
If your boyfriend/husband/lover looks at, flirts, or even cheats, who do you blame first? The man, or the woman for "tempting" him or "stealing" him? Do we call men homewreckers for breaking up a marriage? Women often have a much harder time "allowing" their partners to have female friends than vice versa, in my observations, because women don't trust women. And it all stems from stupid shit like this.
Why did these idiots immediately label TEENAGE GIRLS sluts and harlots? First off, pretty sure they were grinding WITH BOYS. But the boys weren't berated and belittled...so hey, let's start the shame bandwagon as early as possible, shall we?
I hope those idiots get the public berating THEY deserve, for bullying and degrading teenage girls when they could've just said "seriously, both of you, no dirty dancing" and gone from there. I'm so disgusted and disappointed.
and it makes me both disappointed and sad.
Regardless of my stance on teenagers dirty dancing at a school function, these women's reactions were utterly ridiculous, sexist, and downright misogynistic. What, you didn't think women can hate women?
If your boyfriend/husband/lover looks at, flirts, or even cheats, who do you blame first? The man, or the woman for "tempting" him or "stealing" him? Do we call men homewreckers for breaking up a marriage? Women often have a much harder time "allowing" their partners to have female friends than vice versa, in my observations, because women don't trust women. And it all stems from stupid shit like this.
Why did these idiots immediately label TEENAGE GIRLS sluts and harlots? First off, pretty sure they were grinding WITH BOYS. But the boys weren't berated and belittled...so hey, let's start the shame bandwagon as early as possible, shall we?
I hope those idiots get the public berating THEY deserve, for bullying and degrading teenage girls when they could've just said "seriously, both of you, no dirty dancing" and gone from there. I'm so disgusted and disappointed.
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