Why Texas Matters, and Why I Support Wendy Davis (from MN)

I don't usually get all political-like on this blog. I do pay attention to politics, though, and I pay attention to the constant erosion of rights that's been happening in this country. It's pretty horrifying, really. And as a woman I've been following the Texas debates over the ridiculously restrictive abortion bill pretty closely, because it's not just about Texas. Let's ignore the dirty and underhanded skirting of the rules and laws in Texas regarding parliamentary procedures, and focus only on the bill itself, shall we?

In fact, it's not about abortion, although the Republicans would REALLY like you to ignore that fact, because screaming "KILLING BABIES" gets them blind support for a bill that effectively enslaves a large population in their state to women's bodies. No, I'm not being dramatic: let's review.

First of all, the 20 week ban is a straw-man intended to get the pure reactive response of pro-lifers. I'd wager $100 that said reactions are by people who only saw the Fox News headlines and didn't bother to read the actual bill. According to the most recent CDC statistics (2008), 91.4% of reported abortions occurred prior to 13 weeks. 91.4%. That means 91.4% of the Texas bill banning abortions after 20 weeks has NOTHING to do with the abortions themselves. If you've listened to any of the testimony at all (it's live-streamed, by the way), you'd hear that most of the less-than-10% of women who have an abortion after they've made it halfway through their pregnancy do so for a medically necessary reasons.

Oh Conservative Texas Legislators: Do you REALLY think a woman who's carried life inside her for 20 weeks would arbitrarily end it? Do you REALLY think a woman should be forced to carry a stillborn corpse to term (which is exactly what would've happened for many of the women providing testimony)? More importantly, who exactly give you the right to judge another woman or family for THEIR choices in this life, and decide for another adult what's best for them and their family?

Are there outliers, women who truly use abortion as birth control? I'm sure there are. There are outliers on both sides. Outliers are OUTLIERS...but this bill focuses on them to distract people from the real issue.
The real issue here is HEALTHCARE for women, and male legislators attempting to control the less-privileged people in their state. Oh, you think I'm avoiding the KILLING BABIES issue? Let's review.

The Texas abortion bill will, in effect, close many of the affordable health care clinics in Texas. Is that an issue for the well off and/or wealthy women in the state? Nope: they can likely afford to travel to the few remaining clinics if they need to. So in practice, this bill removes not only abortion but family planning and birth control from a population of women unable to take time off of work or travel a few hundred miles to see a doctor.

This is in the wake of two major blows to women owning their own bodies and reproductive cycles: Planned Parenthood getting effectively kicked out of Texas via defunding, and abstinence-only sex education. BOTH of these resources educate women on how their body works and what can be done to prevent pregnancy.

What was the Senate's response when birth control was brought up in yesterday's debate? "Use condoms."

Hmm. Aren't condoms a MALE BIRTH CONTROL? So...what Texas Conservatives are really saying is: you're a slut if you have sex before marriage and deserve what you get, because we don't believe you have the right to control your own health care: it's up to the MAN (via a condom) to choose whether you get pregnant or now.

Birth control freed women from the patriarchal control of their bodies through pregnancy...and Conservative legislators in this country have been trying desperately to get the "little woman" back under control. Don't believe me? How many women were on the US Congress panels regarding birth control when Rush Limbaugh called a college student a whore for wanting access to the pill? Hmm.

Oh wait...sex education is abstinence only...so even using condoms isn't taught as a birth control option.

Now, let's remove the feminist piece of this and focus on the men. What happens when lower-income families are denied good sex education, access to birth control, and affordable/accessible health care (yes, that includes abortions)?

They have babies. Lots of babies. Why? Because human beings are wired to have sex, particularly when they're in love and in stable relationships. Oh, you thought this didn't apply to married couples? It does. The sex isn't stopping: conservatives can try all they like to stop human nature, but it's going to happen.

Women aren't the only population impacted by this bill: the men who love them, their children, their potential children and families are ALL impacted. And when a low-income family has more babies than they can afford as a family, what happens? They're trapped financially. How exactly does a bill that will close the doors to health-care facilities serving this population in particular NOT enslave that very population economically, and how exactly is that better for the children in these families?

Let me say again: this bill does not ban abortion: abortions under 20 weeks will still be legal in the state (and as you can see if you click the CDC link, 91.4% of abortions are done FAR earlier than 20 weeks). This bill is an attempt to control women's bodies, reproductive rights, and economic status by denying health care and birth control via making access so limited and expensive it's impossible to access it. 

Why is this important to me, a Minnesotan far removed from Texas (or North Carolina or Wisconsin or Ohio)? Well, Mark Rubio has said he intends to introduce a nearly identical bill in the US Senate. So yeah, this is important to me. Women (and the men with them) of any social status, economic status, or race shouldn't be slaves to their reproductive cycles. Education and family planning resources have been eroded for over a decade, and now the remaining health-facilities which provide those resources could be closed.

This is absolutely a big deal, and it's important for women AND men to stand up and say clearly: WOMEN CAN CONTROL THEIR OWN LIVES, BODIES, and HEALTH CARE.

Conservative legislators in this country (mostly male, but some females as well) feel they have the right to get between a woman's medical decisions with her doctor. Why? Because their religious beliefs tell them it's wrong. Never mind that your beliefs may not be mine. Never mind that EVERY major religion in the world has some variation of judgement being left to God.


I wasn't aware so many Conservatives' glass houses are stone-proof.

No, no, you're pronouncing it wrong. It's "whOOre"

So I live in the Land Spring Forgot. Let's just get that out of the way: it's April something-teen and we're in the middle of yet another "shnit" storm (that would be Husband's word for the rain/sleet/snow shit that's currently coating the ground, and more importantly the roads, in a layer of slushy icy crap). This is not a weather-bitching post. Honestly, even a former Northern Minnesotan like me is fucking sick of the weather-bitching.

No, this post is due to a Facebook comment I read today. "Mother Nature is a whore."

I could probably explain the reasons why I'm generally a very long-fused person when it comes to temper, but that's a totally different (and darker) story. Can we just agree that usually I can take a lot of verbal (and otherwise) irritants before I lose my cool. Except for a few things which irritate the fuck out of me. Here's the thing, my Facebook feed is FULL of pro-woman, anti-sexism, anti-slut-shaming posts lately. There's one going around about a principal in a high school who threatened to call a senior's college and tell them how bad her character is and maybe they should rethink her future there. Because she didn't go to the abstinence-only assembly where the speaker said (per Huffington Post) "if you're on birth control, your mother hates you."

What I find silly is when the same people who support stopping the BLATANT sexism are so often those who participate in the more subtle, pervasive sexism in our culture.

Whore.

Let's review the meaning of "whore" shall we? Thank you, www.Dictionary.com for this:

whore

/hɔr, hoʊr or, often, hʊər/ Show[hawr, hohr or, often, hoor]   noun, verb, whored, whor·ing.

noun

1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

verb (used without object)

2. to act as a whore.

3. to consort with whores.

verb (used with object)

4. Obsolete . to make a whore of; corrupt; debauch.

 

So. One of the challenges of the English language is finding the right word to convey the emotional message to the reader. But this particular word is used SPECIFICALLY to express disgust in a woman's behavior.  Not a man's behavior. Only women, and only with the most demeaning intent. After all, you move further down the degradation ladder when you go from slut to whore, right?

 

Honestly, I've considered this topic before. I don't find anyone, male or female, engaging in "promiscuous sexual intercourse" as less "moral" or any less "respectable" as me. I find that particular trait to be the MOST idiotic thing to judge in a person... WHY would I care if someone is promiscuous? It is not a sign of moral weakness, no matter what the patriarchal religious tenets teach. It can be a sign of self-loathing, but not always. And I'm not going to assume I know what's going on in someone's head. Maybe they just really like sex, for crying out loud.

 

I don't care if anyone, male or female, chooses to have any sort of sexual contact for money unless they're forced into it (in which case I'd gladly . And I don't judge those who've done it because they had to (whether physically forced, emotionally forced, or financially desperate). Why would I? People do what they need to in order to survive, and not everyone's life is as fucking rosy or happy as those portrayed in the media (social or otherwise).

 

This particular comment was a "damn it, fucking snow AGAIN" frustration. But you know, on days like today, when the weather is utterly unpredictable, the ONLY reason I survive is because I have neat things available like indoor heat and grocery stores. Mother Nature could easily rip my head off, in every sense of the word.

If, as a society, we have no respect for even the natural/supernatural forces that we identify as female, are we not including sexism and contempt for the female at our most base and subconscious level? I suppose it's the Pagan-ness in me that gets irked at derogatory terms lobbed around, even though Mother Nature likely doesn't give a hoot what any of us think.

Plus, honestly, as a Pagan I'm pretty sure I wouldn't call any force in the world capable of burying me in any sort of natural disaster a derogatory term.

Dude, you JUST NEVER KNOW.

 

Ok so most of this post was a feminist rant. It's true. If you're going to ignore all the other things I said, at least pronounce the word the fun way. I mean really, using a ridiculous word deserves a ridiculous pronunciation, and for that I refer you to Captains William F. Call and Augustus McRae in Lonesome Dove... who say "whoore" (with the "oo" in the middle) as fact and in appreciation.

If whoore doesn't do it for you, try "Harlot" or "strumpet." Expand your insult ability: both are much more colorful words if you're going to go all Biblically judgmental on any female's sexual proclivities just because you're not happy with her behavior.

To contrast, the best weather-bitching I've seen all week was "everyone likes to sleep in once in a while. But I think it's time to get Mother Nature an alarm clock."

Seriously, Lady...it's cold here and I'm really tired of ice. I know you forgot about Minnesota, but could you send Spring now?

Updated: Feminism: No, Really

fem·i·nism/ˈfɛm əˌnɪz əm/  [fem-uh-niz-uh m]
noun
1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.
2. ( sometimes initial capital letter ) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.
3. feminine character.

Recently my friend Superbetsy blogged, in a wonderfully snarky way, about cosplay at various geeky conventions. A commenter took issue with the subject as "unfeminist" and irrationally attacked the post based on...well, stupid. Phenomenally, remarkably, blindly stupid. She went on and on about how basic female grooming (plucking eyebrows, shaving legs, wearing makeup, etc) only fed the patriarchal inequality in this country.

Fucking REALLY? You judgemental, inexperienced, self-righteous IDIOT.

Instead of standing together, "feminists" of this ilk attack any woman who enjoys being female...never mind that same female may make significantly more money than her spouse, volunteer at a shelter, and help other women build themselves up. "Feminists" like the commenter put the same "ist" into feminism that goes with "race," "sex," "age," or any other reason to exclude a group with bigotry.

All over the world, women are subjected to various sorts of domestic violence. Women are sold as sex slaves. Women are prevented from receiving education, medical care, dignity, and in many cases life.

• In India, a woman was gang raped to the extent her attackers RIPPED OUT PIECES OF HER INTESTINE. Yeah. That didn't make US news outlets, but that's why she's still in critical condition. She was on a supposedly safe bus. With her boyfriend.
• In Afghanistan, a pre-teen was shot by the Taliban for the horrific crime of her "dishonorable" desire to GET AN EDUCATION.
• In the United States:
• a college student daring to speak up for the right to control her own reproductive system is called a slut publicly by media and politicians in an attempt to shame her into silence.
• The same politicians try to say rape isn't real if a woman gets pregnant, that pregnancy can't happen if it was REALLY rape.
• A girlfriend and mother is killed by her cheating boyfriend for the uppity crime of saying he can't fuck other women and be with her. He then killed himself, and there are SHRINES of mourning for HIM. Because he was an NFL player...and a selfish murderer who deprived his daughter of her mother over a goddamn argument.

Yeah. Let's talk about what feminism really is, shall we?

Feminism isn't about whether or not wearing makeup, plucking your eyebrows, wearing high heels, trying to attract a member of the same or opposite sex makes you more or less a woman. It's about equality, and enjoying that I'm a woman doesn't change my belief that the sexes should be treated equally and women shouldn't have to face degradation, torture, and violence just for having a vagina. Feminism means if a woman chooses to fill a traditional role she has the right to do so, just as if a woman chooses to get an advanced education and become an entrepreneur she has the right to do that too.

I'm not concerned whether my looks, my choice in footwear, clothes or grooming feed a patriarchal society. I'm concerned about important things that will CHANGE society, like making safety, dignity, respect, equality, education, and opportunity available for women AND men.

Is it idealistic? Of course it is: that's a long road all over the world. But it instantly pisses me off to hear self-righteous bitches judge other women for their choices while there are so many out there that don't HAVE those choices.  Because the "ist" in feminist can all to easily forget that if equality is what we're after, men are equal to us, too.

Updated: in Italy, the Church says it's YOUR fault for your husband beating you. If you cooked/cleaned/wore differnt clothes and were totally dependent on your husband, he wouldn't beat you. Between this article and the Pope's recent assertions that people who "choose" to be gay are denying their humanity (thereby implying GLBT people are less human), I wonder if the Vatican isn't purposefully trying to alienate people. Italians, by the way, are livid over this "if you acted better he wouldn't beat you" crap.

Sluts and Harlots: The Moms Need Feminist Education

Today, I saw this on The Stir: http://thestir.cafemom.com/teen/137667/uptight_moms_spray_lysol_on
and it makes me both disappointed and sad.

Regardless of my stance on teenagers dirty dancing at a school function, these women's reactions were utterly ridiculous, sexist, and downright misogynistic. What, you didn't think women can hate women?

If your boyfriend/husband/lover looks at, flirts, or even cheats, who do you blame first? The man, or the woman for "tempting" him or "stealing" him? Do we call men homewreckers for breaking up a marriage?  Women often have a much harder time "allowing" their partners to have female friends than vice versa, in my observations, because women don't trust women. And it all stems from stupid shit like this.

Why did these idiots immediately label TEENAGE GIRLS sluts and harlots? First off, pretty sure they were grinding WITH BOYS. But the boys weren't berated and belittled...so hey, let's start the shame bandwagon as early as possible, shall we?

I hope those idiots get the public berating THEY deserve, for bullying and degrading teenage girls when they could've just said "seriously, both of you, no dirty dancing" and gone from there. I'm so disgusted and disappointed.

Sigh.

As a follow up to a previous post, "Honor" requires MARRYING YOUR RAPIST in Afghanistan. And despite international outcry for her treatment, the victim is seriously considering doing so to "save the family name."

I'm not judging her: I'm judging her FAMILY. First, a family member rapes her and SHE'S sentenced to jail. For what exactly? For "sex outside marriage" even though she had no choice in the matter. Now she's being violated again: family is supposed to protect you, not force you to marry someone who assulted you for the good of the family's name. What the hell does their NAME have to do with any of this? She endured a horrific ordeal at the hands of someone who should've been trustworthy, and was failed by her kin and country over and over.

I wish this woman could find the courage to tell them all to fuck off and leave the country: at this point Amnesty International or another refugee service could get her out. Unfortunately as is the case with so many women brought up under oppressive social mores and abusive conditions, she'll likely stay and raise her daughter in the same culture that forces her to marry a man who raped her.

In my head, I know that this is a cultural practice that has gone on in many societies for centuries all over the world.

In my heart, I'm so utterly discouraged and saddened by the calculated subjugation of half the human race simply because "it's always been that way." I'll never understand what the hell is so terrifying to these abusive, ignorant, idiots about respecting the equality of women.

Oh Don't You Worry Your Pretty Little Head, Honey

This morning I feel like I've been sucked into a Twilight Zone alternate universe, and it's a bad, bad version..

The democratic President whom I have supported has taken away a major female right to privacy and medicine. Teenage girls can now overdose on asprin or cold medicine just like normal, but they can't get the morning after pill because it could be dangerous if taken improperly. Huh. So can asprin and cold medicine. Even more horrifying was the President's argument: he has two girls of his own. So...your children (neither of whom are 15-18 years old) and what they understand about medicine as 10 and 12 year olds decided for you whether a young woman can read directions on a medication box? But teenagers of both sexes can still buy condoms and other OTC medications with no problem? Why do you not see the sexist, unfair, ridiculous issue here??

Saudi Arabia BEHEADED A WOMAN FOR WITCHCRAFT yesterday. Sorcery and witchcraft aren't even ON THE BOOKS in Saudi Arabia as crimes. She was beheaded for what exactly? Did she drive? Was she encouraging other women to take care of themselves? Hmm.

Women in Afghanistan face acid attacks for what crime? For saying NO to a marriage proposal! In one recent case the women's entire family was disfigured with acid, including her father who supported her in refusing marriage to a warlord thug. He was beaten and forced to watch as his wife and daughters had acid poured on their faces. Disfigured doesn't even begin to cover the pain, horror, and utter ruination these women faced. Consider that in Afghanistan women are barely allowed to read (depending where they live) or work, and so are generally still dependent on finding a husband to care for them. Now consider that a disfigured woman there is nearly guaranteed to be thought unmarriageable. Not only did her attacker violate her horribly, he essentially ruined her chances at life in that culture.

Amongst all these attacks against the female in the world, our First Lady, theoretically the most powerful woman in the world (if you consider the US to be the most powerful, most free country in the world today)? She's wearing a certain designer's dress (big news!) and helped win the world jumping-jacks record. Michelle Obama had a chance to DO something while she was in office. She chose to be as opposite of Hillary Clinton as possible and embrace a backward "women are only concerned with food, fashion and children" image. I'm so very very disappointed.

Mr. and Mrs. Obama: it's your JOB to not only protect people's rights in this country, not take them away. Also, having two girls of your own should prompt you to set a better example to women and girls everywhere. World "superpowers": I'm ashamed of all of you for stepping back and allowing human rights abuses to happen to women and girls all over the world under the guise of "cultural normalcy" instead of standing up and telling oppressors and abusers to stop.

With shows like Pan Am, Mad Men, and Playboy Club taking over and 12 year old girls wearing "Juicy" across their asses, should I be surprised that feminism is a dirty word and equality is taking a giant leap backward? I suppose not. But should I stop being angry and trying to do something to change it? No way, and neither should any other feminist or humanist out there.

We aren't eye candy. We aren't punching bags. We aren't mindless, animated sex toys. We aren't cooks, maids, or laundresses. We are women: as entitled to respect and equality as men, and more than capable of getting out of the boxes we're shoved into.